“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Mishpatim
26 Shevat 5782/January 28, 2022
Mevorchim Adar I
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לרפואה שלימה נטע יצחק בן רחל
BEWARE THE GREMLINS
When our
twins were born over five years ago, I was informed that my rebbe, Rabbi Berel
Wein, happened to be in Monsey. It was a great zechus that he was willing to
serve as sandek for Gavriel Yehuda, the older twin.
A few
days later, we made an upsherin for our son Dovid. I called Rabbi Wein and
asked if I could bring Dovid over so Rabbi Wein could cut some of his hair and
give him a beracha. Rabbi Wein graciously agreed.
After
cutting a few strands of his hair, Rabbi Wein told Dovid, “You should be a good,
good boy.” Then he added, “And don’t let the gremlins get you!”
It was a
classic Rabbi Wein beracha. While I don’t know exactly what he meant about the
gremlins, I can share how I understood it.
The concept
of gremlins originated in the 1920s among members of the United Kingdom’s Royal
Air Force. When a military plane malfunctioned without apparent reason, the
airmen would blame "gremlins", imagined small creatures in the engine
of the plane that were wreaking havoc by unhooking and pulling out wires.
Since
then, gremlins have been featured in books, radio programs, television shows,
and movies. The popular idea is that a gremlin is a mythical, nasty, elf-like
creature that causes mishaps. People blame gremlins when they don’t have anyone
else to blame.
More
damaging than any external gremlin, however, are the gremlins within us. These
are the voices of negativity and doubt that discourage and deflate our
confidence and drive.
In her
book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown suggests that gremlins are synonymous with
shame, the ultimate corroder of self-esteem.
Brown
writes that she was once struggling to finish an article and was suffering from
writer’s block. When she called a friend to ask for advice, her friend asked
her “what are the gremlins saying?”
She
replied that there were a few different gremlins. One was telling her that her
writing isn’t that good, and no one really cares about her opinion. Another was
saying that she was going to get criticized for whatever she wrote, and she
deserved every word of it. The biggest gremlin was saying that real writers
don’t struggle with writer’s block.
It’s
been said that pain is what happens to us, while suffering is what we do
with that pain. Pain is inevitable in life, and there’s not much we can do
to avoid it. But suffering is a product of our own thoughts and perceptions
about the pain we suffer. When we doubt our ability to handle pain, question
why we aren’t able to better deal with our pain, think that we deserve pain
because we aren’t worthy, and other similarly self-demeaning thoughts, we enter
the realm of suffering. That suffering is the result of our internalizing and
accepting the messages that the gremlins are telling us.
The good news is that we can minimize our suffering by
shifting our perspective and being nicer and more patient with ourselves.
When the
newly freed Jewish nation arrived at the Sea of Reeds and saw the Egyptian army
approaching, they panicked. Rashi adds that they saw the guardian angel of
Egypt coming from heaven to assist the Egyptians.
Shem
MiShmuel (5681) explains that the nation felt the ‘voice of Egypt’ inside
themselves, and they realized that they were not yet truly free. They continued
to hear the familiar abusive taunts of the Egyptians that they were worthless,
useless failures, in their own minds. That caused them to wonder if they could
ever be anything more than enslaved pagans.
It was
only when they witnessed the splitting of the sea, that they recognized Hashem’s
personal love for them, and they began to see themselves as a free nation, not
only physically, but spiritually and emotionally as well.
In my
daily learning of Tanach, I have just completed learning Sefer Yirmiyahu, and therefore
have been thinking about it in this light. Yirmiyahu was given with one of the
most challenging tasks in the world – to rebuke and admonish the Jewish people.
He suffered greatly in his efforts to fulfill his mission faithfully. He was scorned,
ignored, beaten and imprisoned.
It is
incredible that a person can be so piously committed that he does not allow the
many gremlins surrounding him to defeat him. Sefer Yirmiyahu is a living
reminder that one cannot be in tremendous pain, yet not succumb to suffering.
But
there is another important idea that emerges from Sefer Yirmiyahu. How many
Jews viewed Yirmiyahu and his message as a gremlin to be ignored? The Jewish
people as a nation did not recognize Yirmiyahu’s ceaseless love for his people,
and that he was only fulfilling the mission conferred upon him. Instead of recognizing
his message as the path o return to greatness, they saw it as a nuisance that had
to be silenced. In the end, silencing his message resulted in their exile and terrible
tragedy.
There
may be times in life when we think a voice is that of a gremlin when it really contains
a message we should hearken to for our own growth and development, painful as
it may be. At times it can be challenging to differentiate between the two. One
can recognize the difference by contemplating if the voice is squelching his aspirations
or goading him back on track.
When
Rabbi Wein blessed Dovid that he shouldn’t let the gremlins get him, I
understood that to mean that he shouldn’t allow naysayers and pessimists to stifle
his dreams and aspirations. He wasn’t only referring to other people, but, more
profoundly, to the inner gremlins that seek to discourage and convince him that
he isn’t capable enough to accomplish his goals and hopes.
The only
way to silence those gremlins is by recognizing one’s worthiness and greatness.
Often that’s something that doesn’t come naturally to people, even talented and
highly capable people. The gremlins are stubborn and persistent, and one must
counter them with stubborn and persistent positivity and reminders of one’s own
worthiness.
Rabbi
Wein’s beracha was truly valuable and worthwhile for it holds the key to all
success. We can be impactful and effective, but only if we recognize the gremlins
and not allow them to wear us down!
Shabbat
Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum