Thursday, May 26, 2016

PARSHAS BEHAR 5776


“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Behar
Pirkei Avos perek 4
19 Iyar 5776 (34th day of Omer)/ May 27, 2016

Living in the vicinity of New York City affords us the opportunity to frequently travel across bridges traversing the Hudson and East Rivers. Traveling to the Five Towns entails crossing the George Washington or the Tappan Zee, and then the Whitestone, Throgs Neck, or Triboro. Going into Brooklyn entails using the Brooklyn or Manhattan Bridge, or possibly one of the tunnels. Staten Island is connected to the world with the Verrazano Narrows Bridge, or the (very narrow) Goethals and Bayonne Bridges. Every afternoon during my drive up to New Windsor I pass the beautiful Bear Mountain Bridge, further up the Hudson River.
As a young child I had a deep fear of bridges. Whenever I would be in the car and we would drive across a bridge I would bury my head in my lap until we were off the bridge (and it was not because of my father’s driving). I always feared that the bridge would collapse, and the vast water below looked very frightening. [The truth is that if you’re ever stuck in traffic on a bridge, a slight unnerving sway is somewhat palpable as cars and trucks breeze by from the opposite traffic.]
As I grew older, I became excited by bridges. I enjoy their majestic presence and the stunning views as well. As the construction of the lengthy Tappan Zee Bridge progresses not far from our home, we are able to witness the incredible detail and engineering brilliance necessary for constructing a bridge.
The truth is, as expensive and challenging as it is to construct a bridge across water, it is far more arduous and challenging to build bridges between people and nations. What makes people so fascinating and life so interesting is the fact that we are all unique and different. But we seem to have a very hard time respecting those differences.
Bridges do not remove the massive abyss that separates two bodies of land, but rather create specific points of connection. In a similar vein, sometimes our disagreements with other people or groups are valid, and we may not have the authority to overlook or forgive those differences. But we can always focus more on our commonalities than those differences.  
This week we celebrate Lag Baomer. Before we resume listening to music, shaving, and taking haircuts, it behooves us to remember why we have been mourning. This period was originally dedicated as one of joy in anticipation of Kabbolas HaTorah. It was transformed into a time of mourning and introspection because of the tragic deaths of Rabbi Akiva’s twenty-four thousand students. The gemara relates that the root cause of their death was because they did not adequately respect each other. In a sense, they were unable to construct strong enough bridges between each other.
Think about what life around here would be like without our bridges. When we are too focused on our points of contention we cannot focus on our points of connection. The result is isolation and animosity – the source of our continuing exile.
When a fire is raging it warms and serves as a source of illumination for everyone who draws near it, no matter the person’s external appearance and even his internal views. The fires of Lag Baomer, which contain the flames of spiritual connection, embrace and warm the souls of every Jew. Lag Baomer is a day when bridges are constructed. It is therefore a day of tremendous joy, joy which serves as the key to our final preparation for reaccepting the Torah on Shavuos.

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,

      R’ Dani and Chani Staum  

Thursday, May 19, 2016

PARSHAS EMOR 5776


“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Emor
Pirkei Avos perek 3
12 Iyar 5776 (27th day of Omer)/ May 20, 2016

Last week our five year old daughter Chayala had corrective surgery on her eyes. [The surgery had nothing to do with the rock climbing on Chol Hamoed that I wrote about last week.] We arrived at the hospital at 6:30 am, she was in surgery by 7:30, out of surgery by 9, and we left the hospital around noon. By that evening she was completely back to herself, b’h.
For a few hours in between however, Chayala did not open her eyes because it hurt too much. She wore sunglasses and held our hands on the way to the car. When we went to a store to pick out a present for her on the way home, we had to describe the toys for her and ask her which she wanted. It definitely gave me a renewed appreciation for the gift of sight and the beracha of “pokeiach ivrim” (giving sight to the blind). 
It reminded me of an experience I had this past winter, when I was in Eretz Yisroel with our son Shalom. One day, after visiting cousins in Rechovot we went for a tour of the Ayalon Institute.
During the 1940s when the British controlled Eretz Yisroel, and immediately afterwards during the War of Independence in 1948, the Ayalon Institute appeared like a typical kibbutz. Unbeknownst to the British however, in the underground bowels of the kibbutz was an ammunition factory for the Palmach, the military division of the Haganah. For four years the factory produced millions of bullets which were vital for the efforts of the Israeli resistance, and played an integral role in the outcome of the war.
One of the machines in the kibbutz’s laundry room was on a track. Every morning 45 men and women would clandestinely descend to the hidden area where they worked feverishly, six days a week for ten hours a day, producing bullets. The noise of the washing machines drowned out the noise below, and the smell of the detergent masked the smell of the gunpowder. The workers would take food supplements and there was special lighting in the room to boost the sheen of their skin so they wouldn’t become pale from the hours working in the dank underground.
The launderers even washed the uniforms of the British soldiers nearby. A wire which bypassed the meter of the kibbutz to avoid detection was connected to the nearby British armybase. The British were unwittingly funding the electricity for the operation. Talk about Israeli/Jewish chutzpah!
The fascinating thing about the story is that it was happening right under the enemy’s nose, yet they knew nothing about it. The whole story contains an apt analogy for how we view others. We look at people, size up their situation, and offer our opinions about their lives, convinced of the veracity of our perspective. The truth is that every person has compartments of themselves hidden from view, in the basements of their being. This is true not even of people we don’t know, but often even of people with whom we feel close and connected. There are always things about which we are unaware.
A few years ago a fellow teacher related a simple piece of advice which contains invaluable wisdom: Whenever you look at someone else’s life, remember that all you are seeing is the tip of the iceberg. What we see is only the top of the person’s essence, the part that is visible above the horizon. But beneath the surface is an ocean of depth that we cannot see.
At the end of the day, judging others is like making decisions with your eyes closed.

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,

            R’ Dani and Chani Staum        

Thursday, May 12, 2016

PARSHAS KEDOSHIM 5776


“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Kedoshim
Pirkei Avos perek 2
5 Iyar 5776 (20th day of Omer)/ May 13, 2016

One of our Chol Hamoed outings this Pesach was to a place called “High Exposure Rock Climbing.” The facility boasts numerous forty-foot climbs to the roof of the building, each climb varying in difficulty and level of challenge. [For those skeptics out there, I climbed one of the walls. At the top there was a bell, and I made sure the entire room was aware that I made it to the top.]   
It was fun and gratifying to watch each of our children try the different climbs. [They have a lot of practice climbing walls in our home.] I particularly enjoyed watching our five year old Chayala. I was impressed that she was willing to put on the harness and even attempt to climb at all. The first few times she didn’t get very far up at all, and only a few feet off the ground her feet slid off the footholds and she was left hanging from her harness, before descending back to the ground. But that hardly stopped her from trying again, and again, and again. I loved watching her determination and persistence which precluded her from focusing on her failure to get very far the first few times. The truth is that Chayala never did make it to the top, but no one can accuse her of not giving it her all and climbing a respectful amount. 
On September 12, 1962, President JFK gave a motivating speech at Rice University in Houston, Texas, in which he discussed his resolve and assurance that America would be the first country to send someone to the moon. He added that it would be done before the end of the decade. It was a bold statement considering that at the time, the USA was far behind the USSR in the development and accomplishments of its space program. In the end, President Kennedy’s assertion came true, though he didn’t live to witness it.
During that talk Kennedy noted that he was well aware of the challenge of trying to fulfill his dream.  Yet he was unequivocal: “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard… We choose to go because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win.”
Because we are so blessed with material comfort and convenience, we need to remember that growth and greatness only come with exertion, persistence, and effort. Discomfort and often pain are par for the course.
Rock climbing serves as a great analogy for all worthy accomplishments of life. All of one’s bones may ache and be crying out for relief, but if he is fueled by motivation and ambition he will obstinately push onward, pulling himself up with every surge. Part of the euphoric feeling of reaching the top includes the knowledge that one has pushed himself beyond your comfort one. Whenever we extend our limitations we feel elated and encouraged.
We also must remember that the path to growth includes the knowledge that somewhere along the way you may lose your footing and slip. But as long as your harness remains firm and you’re able to pull yourself back onto your path you’ll eventually reach the top.
Just remember that everyone’s “top” is different! 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,

            R’ Dani and Chani Staum        

Thursday, May 5, 2016

PARSHAS ACHREI MOS 5776


“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Acharei Mos
Pirkei Avos perek 1- Mevorchim Chodesh Iyar
28 Nissan 5776 (13th day of Omer)/ May 6, 2016

A few weeks ago a good friend invited me and Chani to his home for a meeting he was hosting. He told me that it could be very beneficial for me, and so we joined.
After the program was presented with great excitement and encouragement, a woman addressed the assemblage to relate her personal experience. I must admit that when it comes to these types of programs I have a hard time following. There were however, some key phrases she used that resonated with me; quips such as “It’s a no brainer” and “Have your money do the work for you”.
Even though the program was not for us, I realized that there was great wisdom to be gleaned from the idea of ‘having your money work for you’, as I will now explain.
A number of years ago, after spending Pesach in Lakewood, NJ at the home of my in-laws, we lingered there for a day or two of Chol Hamoed. My in-law’s neighbor and dear friend, Rabbi Eli Oelbaum, invited me and Shalom (then 9 years old), to join us at a Chol Hamoed learning program he initiated at a local shul. It was cleverly called “Greater Adventure”.
We accepted the invitation and were very moved by the program. There was a packed Bais Medrash full of young men, some with fathers and grandfathers, and many with chavrusos, learning with gusto for the better part of an hour. That was followed by brief divrei chizuk (words of encouragement) by a distinguished rabbinic personality, which was followed with a daily grand raffle, with numerous exciting prizes raffled off every day. After that first time, we almost always made it our business to be in Lakewood for some part of Chol Hamoed so we could join the program.
This year, with the encouragement and guidance of my rebbe, Rabbi Schabes, as well as all the local rabbonim of our community and a few generous donors, we were able to initiate a similar learning program here in New Hempstead. It was truly gratifying to see over 50 boys learning Torah on a Chol Hamoed morning with fathers and grandfathers. More than one father expressed to me the same sentiment that I had conveyed to Rabbi Oelbaum after the first time we attended his program a few years ago: “It was so special! It really transformed our Chol Hamoed!”
I thought about what a great zechus the program was, not only for our community but for Rabbi Oelbaum. The words that woman had uttered regarding that financial program are surely true in regards to spiritual matters: “It’s a no brainer!” “Have your mitzvah do the work for you”…
What a wonderful idea!  Just do something great and you never know who will be inspired to follow your lead. And if they inspire someone else, who knows what kind of merits it can generate for you and for so many others. It’s truly a Greater Adventure!

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,

            R’ Dani and Chani Staum