“RABBI’S MUSINGS (&
AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Devorim/Shabbos
Chazon
Pirkei Avos – Perek 3 --- 5 Menachem Av 5774/August
1, 2014
I was eight years young.
My mother’s father - my Zaydei - had recently passed away, and I was still
trying to come to terms with the concept of death. I was having a hard time
grasping the idea that I would never again see my Zaydei, who I loved and
adored. The fact that my mother was not home for the first week after so she
could sit shiva with her mother, sister, and brother in my Zaydei’s apartment
in the Lower East Side only made it more
difficult.
But shiva ended, my
mother returned home, and life was starting to return to normalcy. Now a few
weeks later, for the first time since my Zaydei had died, we were going to
visit my newly widowed Bubby. We came to the door and rang the familiar bell.
Bubby replied in her familiar way. It all seemed so usual, like it always was.
Then we entered the
apartment. I will never forget how my mother began crying bitterly as we walked
in. All the usual pictures were where they always were, the furniture was where
it had always been, Zaydei’s myriad seforim were still lining the shelves of
his study, and as usual Bubby was cooking something. But there was no big
gemara open in his study, no new seforim hidden under the dining room table,
and most profoundly Zaydei did not come to greet us with his trademark gleaming
smile.
That painful moment
revitalized the pain of the raw wound that Zaydei was gone.
My younger siblings born
after Zaydei’s passing, had a very different experience when they came to visit
that apartment in later years. They could hardly understand the pain we felt
because they never knew Zadei; they didn’t know what was missing.
We are very blessed in
the current exile. We can visit Eretz Yisroel and the Kosel, there is no dearth
of Shuls or Yeshivos throughout the country, and the proliferation of Torah and
mitzvos is unparalleled.
The events of the past
week remind us of the peril we constantly face and that the Messianic era has
yet to arrive. But even so Yerushalayim has regained its status as the capitol
of our world, and the country is flourishing.
However,
all is not well. As long as the Bais Hamikdash is not rebuilt and korbanos not
offered, things are not as they should be. The greatest challenge for us is
that we don’t even know what we are missing. We cannot fathom the excitement of
offering a Korbon Pesach, and we have no inkling of the inspiration of seeing
the Kohanim performing the Avodah while the Levites sang with harmonious
beauty. We do not know the excitement of the tri-annual pilgrimage for the
holidays, and we never experienced the awesome trepidation of seeing the Kohain
Gadol perform the Yom Kippur service. We were never privy to the feeling of
devotion to G-d and acutely sensing that you have achieved atonement when
offering a korbon.
Although
we don’t know what we are missing, the very fact that we want to know what we
are missing, is indicative of the fact that we wish to connect with that
forgotten world.
On
Tisha B’av, we demonstrate or connection, or at least longing for connection,
with that more G-dly world. We remind ourselves that for all the blessings we
have G-d is not yet home. His Presence may have never left, but we cannot
experience it fully. We long for the day when the dome of the rock will be
replaced with the third Bais Hamikdash, an eternal reunion, when all our tears
will be dried forever.
Shabbat Shalom &
Good Shabbos
A meaningful &
inspiring Tisha B’av,
R’ Dani and Chani
Staum