Thursday, January 29, 2015

Extra Musings - In honor of Super Bowl

“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Beshalach
10 Shevat 5775/January 30, 2015

      In honor of the Super Bowl we present some life lessons to be gleaned from the game of football. [The first three are based on the lecture of Dr. Yitzy Schechter for the YU Halftime show 2013 - Super Bowl XLVII]
1. No game requires as much of a team effort as football. The quarterback needs the linesman to give him space so that he can find the wide receiver. Every player has his role to play, and without each role being fulfilled the team cannot hope for victory.
In our personal and familial lives as well as being members of Klal Yisroel, each of us has our unique role that we must play. Everyone is invaluable and no one is dispensable.
2. The only thing that matters is the line of scrimmage – where the play is happening right now!
Rav Dessler explains that a person’s nekudas habechira, the point where one is challenged and has the prerogative how to exercise his free will, is different for every person. What is a struggle for one person may not be a struggle for another. More significantly, every individual’s own nekudas hebechira is constantly changing. What may have been a tremendous challenge for a person one day may no longer be a challenge for him the next day. Our spiritual line of scrimmage is ever-changing and we must move with it to embrace the challenge wherever it appears.
3. You’re never too far away from a first down! You may be way downfield with the odds stacked heavily against you, even as the clock is winding down. But you’re sole focus needs to be on moving the ball another ten yards. The objective is to get a first down, and then another first down, and then another. We can’t try to grab too much at once.
4. Even when a person slips up and has ‘lost his footage’, he should never throw in the towel. As long as the clock is still ticking there is still hope.
On February 3, 2008, with less than two minutes to play in Super Bowl XLII, the underdog New York Giants were trailing the heavily favored, undefeated New England Patriots, 14-10. On third and 5 at the Giants 44 yard line, Giant’s quarterback Eli Manning, took the snap, and was immediately under pressure. He was grabbed by the shoulder and from his back and was almost thrown down for a sack. Somehow he managed to stay on his feet and duck under the arms of another defender, before he threw the ball downfield. Immediately after launching the ball Manning was thrown down. Had Manning been sacked the Giants would have faced fourth and 8, and would have been forced to convert to keep any chance of winning alive.
32 yards downfield David Tyree, who seldom was used as a receiver, caught Manning’s incredible throw with both hands. Then it was swiped away by a defender and Tyree held the ball against his helmet for the completion which gave the Giants a first down, and a chance to score the game winning touchdown, that shocked the patriots. 
Even in a person’s worst moments when he feels utterly beaten, as long as he doesn’t surrender, he is still in the game and has a chance to come back!

      Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
      R’ Dani and Chani Staum


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

PARSHAS BESHALACH / SHABBOS SHIRA / TU B’SHVAT 5775


“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Beshalach – Shabbas Shirah
10 Shevat 5775/ January 30, 2015

Traveling by airplane is an amazing experience. It never ceases to amaze me how things that are so tall and imposing when we are on the ground, including cars, trucks, houses and buildings, suddenly appear miniscule and even infinitesimal from an altitude of 16,000 feet (international flights fly over 20,000 feet).
What’s even more incredible is how quickly it occurs. After the plane races down the runway it’s suddenly airborne. Within seconds it ascends hundreds of feet as the ground below literally shrinks from view. The traffic that you may have encountered on the way to the airport, which left you harried and over-anxious now looks trivial. The skyscrapers that looked so imposing and breathtaking yesterday now looks like they barely extend over the city-line. The massive mountains you see in the distance as you drive to work each day now appear like small protrusions above the panorama.  
The flying experience is a great analogy for our experience every Shabbos. Throughout the week we feel overwhelmed and intimidated by deadlines and other pressures. Bills must be paid and responsibilities fulfilled. We feel harried and anxious by the many things we are responsible for.
On Friday afternoon in the last moments before Shabbos we are invariably caught up in a harried tizzy as we rush to ensure that everything is taken care of before the holy day begins. We feel like we are racing down the runway picking up speed, as the plane pulsates from the acceleration.
And then suddenly the shaking ceases and we are airborne. The woman’s hand strikes the match that will illuminate the lights of Shabbos and the Chazan’s voice melodiously resonates with the ancient words of Tehillim which introduce the holy day: “Let us go exult to Hashem; sing to the rock of our salvation”. In seconds we have ascended way above the earth and peer at the world below us with a bird’s eye view. What was so imposing and daunting a few minutes ago is now laughably miniscule.
On Shabbos we view the world from a different perspective. We become partners with the creator and see the whole world for what it truly is – a conduit for holiness and serving the Divine. All of the things which provoke so much anxiety and energy throughout the week now appear inconsequential and trivial in comparison with what really matters in life.
Every morning, as we begin the blessings prior to Kerias Shema, we state the profound declaration: “How numerous are your actions Hashem, all of them were made with wisdom.” Yet strangely enough, according to nusach Ashkenaz, on Shabbos morning that sentence is omitted.
Rav Yitzchok Hutner zt’l (Pachad Yitzchok, Shabbos, 6) notes that during the week we are engaged in all things worldly. We are involved in the furtherance of society and humanity through our efforts to develop the world. Therefore, during the week we need to remind ourselves that the numerous components of creation are all the wisdom of G-d.
On Shabbos however, we do not see the disparate components of the world. We do not focus on the quantitative components of the world. On Shabbos we view the world as one entity of divine energy and opportunity. Shabbos is a day of qualitative focus. Therefore, on Shabbos we do not speak of the numerousness of creation, but on the purpose and ultimate direction of creation. As we state in the ‘Song of Shabbos’ (Tehillim 92): “How great are Your works Hashem; exceedingly profound are Your thoughts.” 
The shirah of Shabbos is the shirah of the true meaning of life!  

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum       

720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, January 22, 2015

PARSHAS BO 5775


“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Bo
3 Shevat 5775/ January 23, 2015

On August 9, 2014 Michael Brown, an 18-year-old African-American male, was shot to death after an altercation with Darren Wilson, a 28-year-old white male Ferguson police officer. Brown was a suspect in a robbery committed minutes before the shooting.
On August 10, 2014, the evening after the shooting, people began looting businesses, vandalizing vehicles, and confronting police officers who sought to block off access to several areas of the city. At least 12 businesses were looted or vandalized and a QuikTrip convenience store and gas station was set on fire, leading to over 30 arrests. Many windows were broken and several nearby businesses closed on Monday.
On August 11, police fired tear gas and rubber bullets to disperse a crowd at the burnt shell of the QuikTrip convenience store, set on fire by looters the night before.
On August 12, several hundred protesters gathered in Clayton, the county seat, seeking criminal prosecution of the officer involved in the shooting. Protesters in Ferguson carried signs and many held their hands in the air while shouting “don't shoot”. That night, police used smoke bombs, flash grenades, rubber bullets, and tear gas to disperse the crowd.
On November 24, the grand jury decided not to indict Wilson in the shooting death of Brown. Following the announcement of the grand jury's decision, a dozen buildings were burned down; there was gunfire, looting, vandalism, and destruction of two St. Louis County Police patrol cars, as well as burning of various non-police cars.
On November 25, CNN reported that thousands of people rallied to protest the grand jury's decision in more than 170 U.S. cities from Boston to Los Angeles, and that National Guard forces were reinforced at Ferguson to prevent the situation from escalating. At least 90 people were arrested for arson, looting, and vandalism in Oakland, California. Protests also took place internationally, with demonstrations held in several major cities in Canada and in London.
            Contrast:
After 210 years of unjustified brutality against an innocent and defenseless young nation, there were three days in which the former oppressors were mysteriously shrouded in utter darkness. What’s more, they were completely immobile, unable to move a muscle.
The former slaves, who were completely unaffected by the plague, followed instructions to search the homes of their former tormentors. But incredibly, nothing was taken or even moved. There was no arson, no demonstrations, no smashed windows, no looting, not even verbal epithets hurled. In fact, there was not even one instance of any attempts at revenge throughout the three days. 
Someone once noted that the police are astounded each year when on Purim thousands of men drink excessive amounts of alcohol, and there are no instances of vandalism, looting, thievery, or destruction (asides for the occasional accidental stepping on someone’s glasses).
What a people! 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum       


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

PARSHAS BO 5775


“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Bo
3 Shevat 5775/ January 23, 2015

At the beginning of Parshas Bo, seven plagues have already ravaged Egypt, and the impenetrable resolve of the uncompromising Pharaoh was finally starting to break. He summoned Moshe and expressed a willingness to negotiate. He asked Moshe who exactly would be leaving?
Moshe replied that not only will every man, woman and child leave Egypt, but they will take every one of their animals with them. Nothing will remain behind in their exodus to serve G-d. Upon hearing that Pharaoh angrily replied: “Not so! Let the men go because it is what you are seeking!” With that he has Moshe and Aharon dismissed.
What was the point of contention between Moshe and Pharaoh as to who would be leaving? Also, why did Pharaoh say that the men can go because it is what you are seeking, not because they are what you are seeking?   
I believe the difference between Moshe’s viewpoint and Pharaoh’s viewpoint is the difference between a housewife and a doctor:
A woman is rushing to the store one Friday afternoon to purchase the last minute emergency groceries before Shabbos. As she is leaving she calls out to her husband who is reading the paper on the couch: “Moshe, please do the dishes, vacuum the living room, and make sure the house is presentable before I come home. Shabbos is in two hours.”
Moshe continues reading the paper and promptly dozes off. When he wakes up he realizes that his wife will be home in twenty minutes. In a panic he calls up his neighbor’s wife and promises that he will fix her leaky sink and fix her fence on Sunday if she comes over and straightens up the house right now. She laughs but agrees.
Moshe’s wife enters the home to find the house spotless and ready for Shabbos. When she finds out the next day how it happened she rolls her eyes and mutters “typical”. But she isn’t upset. After all he made sure the house was ready for Shabbos, and she didn’t really care who did it.
A second scenario: Chaim goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor examines him thoroughly and then sits down to discuss the results. He looks sternly at his patient. “Chaim, we need an hour of exercise every day! Do you understand? This is your health on the line and it’s not a joke. I don’t want to start telling you the complications you can start to face if it’s not done. When you come back in six months I want to see an improvement.”
Chaim comes home and calls over Samantha, his housekeeper. “Samantha, my doctor just informed me that there’s got to be an hour of exercise done each day. Please do it and let me know when it’s done so I can tell the doctor.”
In this situation Chaim obviously completely misunderstood what the doctor was telling him. The doctor of course wanted Chaim to do the exercise, not just to make sure it was done.
Pharaoh was the supreme ruler of a polytheistic society. The ancient Egyptians, as well as the ancient Greeks and Romans, believed that there were many gods, each of whom was temperamental and finicky. The humans had to ensure that the gods were pacified and happy, otherwise they may use their powers against the humans.
Therefore, Pharaoh told Moshe that to serve G-d he only needed the men. The men could go into the desert and perform all the requisite rituals and incantations to keep the gods happy. Why would the women and children need to join? Thus Pharaoh insisted that it - i.e. the pacification of the gods - was what Moshe sought, and that only necessitated the men’s departure. 
Moshe replied that Pharaoh woefully misunderstood the Jewish viewpoint of Serving G-d. It is not something that needs to get done, but something we need to do. Each and every Jew needs to pray, learn Torah, and perform mitzvos constantly in order to solidify and maintain his/her connection with G-d. Even our animals and possessions are utilized in serving Hashem. Nothing could be left behind when we departed Egypt, for a Jew devotes himself to the One true G-d with all his heart, all his soul, and all his resources! 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum     


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

PARSHAS VAERA 5775


“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Vaera
25 Teves 5775/ January 16, 2015
Mevorchim Chodesh Shevat

I never understood why I did it, but I always did. Whenever I needed to go shopping for ‘just a few things’, either during an early weekday morning or on Friday afternoon, I would run into the store without grabbing a shopping cart. I reasoned to myself that I didn’t need the cart if I was only buying a few quick things.
Yet somehow the scene repeated itself every time. I would get on line at one of the registers with my hands overflowing, trying pathetically to maintain the precarious balance of all the things I ended up buying. I tried to ignore the pitiful stares from the other cart-wielding shoppers as I pretended that I was really fine without a shopping cart.
Recently I was teaching my fifth graders about the final beracha of Shemoneh Esrei. I explained that after delineating and petitioning G-d for all of our needs – wisdom, repentance, health, livelihood, redemption, etc. - we conclude with a request that we be granted the blessing of peace.
The Sages explain that “G-d found no better vessel to contain blessing than peace.” One who merits tremendous blessings but has no receptacle to contain it all, will not be able to maintain or enjoy his bounty. Even if one has wealth, health, and respect if he has no peace in his life, with others, in his home, or even with himself, he will not be able to enjoy any of the blessings he has been endowed. Therefore, before concluding Shemoneh Esrei we beseech G-d to grant us peace, for therein lies the key for our being able to glean blessings for divine countenance, Torah living, loving-kindness, righteousness, and goodness.
I explained this idea with the shopping cart analogy. I told my students that even if I have enough money to buy everything in the store, if I don’t have a way of getting all the groceries I purchased onto the conveyor belt to pay for them, all my money won’t help me.
So this past Friday I finally wizened up. When I ran in to a store to buy some last minute items for Shabbos, despite my desire not to, I grabbed a shopping cart. When I came to pay a few minutes later I was gratified that I had the shopping cart.
As the cashier was ringing up my purchases I turned to see a friend standing on the adjacent line his hands folded and a slew of items piled up precariously and pathetically atop his arms. With a smug look on my face I told him that there are shopping carts available outside for no extra charge. He smiled and replied “I’m only buying milk!” 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum     


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, January 8, 2015

PARSHAS SHEMOS 5775


“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Shemos
18 Teves 5775/ January 9, 2015

Rav Yitzchok Hutner zt’l related that he understood the depth of the galus in America when he overheard two boys discussing the Kohain Gadol. One boy related to the other all he had learned about the special clothes the Kohain Gadol wore, and the unique Avodah he performed in the Mishkan. The other boy replied “How much do you think he made each year?”
            This year as I was learning the parshios of the dispute between Yosef and his brothers I remembered that as a child I always took the brother’s side. I always felt that they somehow were ll.
The truth is that whenever I learned in class about a dispute recorded in the gemara I took sides. I always sided with Rava against Abaye, which made me pretty happy, because the law is only like Abaye six times in all of Talmud. I also always rooted for Bais Hillel over Bais Shammai, which boded well for me as well. [Anything that worked to keep my attention in class!]   
In Torah there is an integral concept of ‘zeh v’zeh Elokim chaim’ which states that both sides of a Torah-based argument are correct, and equally represent the Word of G-d. Although on a practical level Halacha must follow only one opinion, the dissenting view is still viewed as legitimate and true.
The concept of both sides being correct flies in the face of the prevailing attitude and mindset of our society. In America someone has to get blamed! There are numerous law firms dedicated to seeking out grounds to be awarded monetary compensation for wrongs committed.  
A few years ago a woman sued McDonalds after she burned herself on the hot coffee she had ordered. Amazingly she won the case! The American mentality is that someone has to be held accountable – someone other than me! 
One morning some time ago I was eating breakfast with my fifth grade class. The father of one of my student’s had been hit by a car, and I asked that student how his father was doing. He replied that although his father needed rehab, he was doing better. Another boy overheard something about an accident and called out, “Who had an accident?” The first boy replied that his father had been hit by a car while walking in a parking lot. Without missing a beat the other boy asked “Did you sue?” Fifth grade! 
             We like when things are clear cut – black and white, good and evil. But the reality is that things are generally not that way. Life is full of gray areas.
            In Torah not always is someone right and someone wrong. Abaye is no less correct than Rava, despite the fact that practically the law follows the opinion of Rava. 
The righteousness and stalwartness of Yosef is beyond our comprehension, no less than the righteousness of the brothers. Both were correct and they remain the leaders of the tribes.
It is a lesson we need to learn well. Not everyone who disagrees with us is wrong, and even if they are wrong it isn’t reason to write them off completely.

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum       


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, January 1, 2015

PARSHAS VAYECHI 5775

“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Vayechi
11 Teves 5775/January 2, 2015

      The new upscale school of Mount Wealthmore had begun its first school year.
      The students absolutely loved school. There was no homework or tests because that could trigger undue anxiety. Classes could not be longer than twenty minutes because it could cause students to become jittery which could impinge on their ability to focus. Students were dropped off by their live-in housekeepers whenever they would wake up. In addition, every month the student council met with the school administration to inform them of the results of the student vote as to how each teacher was performing. A 70% student disapproval rating was sufficient vote to have the teacher fired.
      Mount Wealthmore also formed a basketball team to compete in the local league, called the Wealthmore Pampers. No student was turned down from the team out of fear that it could hurt their self-esteem. For the same reason all players had to be given equal playing time and the same amount of passes throughout the game.
      The school's absolute no-bullying policy was strictly enforced on the court too. So when Billy missed an easy layup and Harris screamed out 'oh man!' to no one in particular he was promptly thrown off the team and suspended for bullying.
      If a player was not playing well Mr. Phillips, the coach, would privately call the boy over and strike up a conversation with him about how things were at home, where he was going for vacation, and then gently slide in a playful comment which hinted to the suggestion that perhaps the player should agree to sit down for a few minutes.
      Finally after weeks of practice, in which each student was told how fantastic he was doing despite the results, it was time for their first game.
      They were slated to play against the Inner City Cavaliers. The game was a disaster. Before the game even started three of the Pampers ran off crying because the Cavaliers players gave them dirty looks.
The Bombers starting five were tough and well-seasoned players, while the Pampers starting 5 were all sons of the members of the elite school board. By the end of the first quarter the Cavaliers were up by 38 points. The Pampers had not yet scored a basket.
      Most of the Pampers players were congregating around Mr. Philips protesting that the other players were being mean to them. Mr. Philips was having a hard enough time before the player's parents stormed onto the court and began threatening the referees that if the Pampers didn't start winning they would sue the league. The referees could hardly stifle their laughter.
      In an ironic turn of events the Pampers got the win. It seems that with two minutes left before half time and the Cavaliers leading 73-0, they walked off the court in utter disgust. The Pampers won by forfeiture!
      It was the only game the Pampers ever played, because no team ever agreed to play them again.
More importantly the Pampers players, as well as the other students at Mount Wealthmore, learned a valuable lesson – that they were incapable of fending for themselves and were too incompetent to deal with the challenges of life without their parents intervention.

      The fast of Asarah B'Teves commemorates the tragedy of the beginning of the siege of Yerushalayim when the forces of Nebuchadnezzar surrounded the city prior to the destruction of the first Bais Hamikdash.
      When surrounded on all sides one becomes too stifled to grow and produce. That holds true even if the surrounding is done well-meaningly, with utmost love and care.
      Raising children requires faith and courage. Faith in the child’s ability and courage to allow the child to make their own choices!

      Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
      R’ Dani and Chani Staum


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425