Tuesday, September 23, 2014

ROSH HASHANA 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Rosh Hashana of 5775
29 Elul 5774/September 24, 2014
 EIRUV TAVSHILIN for Shabbos Shuva
      
A friend of mine once asked me what I would do if nothing unusual happened to me or anyone in my family throughout the week. Would I not write a Musings column that week?
Writing this column each week is particularly enjoyable. It forces me to take a second look at many of the events and foibles that happen in our family’s daily life and to find a deeper meaning or symbolism in what occurred.
I mentioned recently that my mentor in viewing life in this manner is my High School Rosh Yeshiva and lifelong rebbe, Rabbi Berel Wein. His columns and lectures are filled with such penetrating, and often humorous, insights gleaned from daily events.
The truth is that our very traditions and customs seem to steer us in this direction, of understanding and appreciating the symbolic meaning behind every aspect of life. Life is very confusing and if a person doesn’t know how to see beyond the surface and to search for the deeper meaning he will remain with a very shallow and superficial perspective. 
Nowhere is this more blatant than in the month of Tishrei and the commencement of the New Year. On the first night of Rosh Hashana when we sit down to our festive meals, we eat an array of ‘symbolic foods’ and recite prayers which incorporate a play on words based on the food’s Hebrew name. The Jewish people are far from superstitious; in fact we are generally suspecting and suspicious. But in the first moments of the year we declare that everything in the world can be a source for prayer. Anything and everything can serve as a reminder that G-d is right there always, and we can pray to him at anytime for any and all of our needs and wants.
Every custom is ancient and holy and replete with deep mystical meanings. But the common denominator is that they are all symbolisms which seek to arouse our emotions to abet our personal process of teshuva.
Tashlich is recited by a flowing body of water to represent G-d’s eternal monarchy which ‘flows’ eternally. As one grasps the chicken for kappraos and then slaughters it he should think that whatever happens to the chicken should really be occurring to him. The hoshanos/aravos we beat on the floor symbolizes our mouths which often prattle on and on without sufficient restraint.
It’s been said that the world is G-d’s classroom. But the only way we can hearken to His messages is if we are paying attention. The month of Tishrei and its holidays and customs offers us the requisite training to prepare us for the rest of the year.

Kesiva Vachasima Tova & Shana Tova to all,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum     


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, September 18, 2014

PARSHAS NETOZVIM-VAYELECH 5774



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Netzovim-Vayelech
23 Elul 5774/September 19, 2014 -- Motzei Shabbos  – Selichos
Pirkei Avos – Perek 5-6
      
This past Shabbos, Chani and I had the pleasure of joining my older brother and sister-in-law, Rabbi Yitzie and Racheli Staum, in Chesterfield, Missouri at the bar mitzvah of their son, our nephew, Avrohom Yosef.
On Friday night Avrohom Yosef’s Uncle Amitai (Bin-Nun) related that eight years earlier he had taken Avrohom Yosef and some of his siblings on their first visit to the famous Gateway Arch in St. Louis, on the Mississippi River.
The Gateway Arch is a landmark, and an architectural wonder, rising 630 feet in the air. It is a tribute to the city’s role in the United State’s Westward expansion and the Lewis and Clark expedition which ended there in the early 1800s.
Getting to the top in a constricted tram is an experience not for the claustrophobic. But from the top one is afforded a magnificent 30 mile view in every direction, including the entire St. Louis on one side and into Illinois on the other side. 
When they arrived at the top of the arch, Avrohom Yosef was peering deeply for a few minutes. He was lost in thought and was obviously looking for something he could not find. Finally after about five minutes he looked up at his uncle with a look of epiphany. “Uncle Amitai, I just realized that I can’t see the Gateway Arch because I’m on the top of it!” Until that moment he had not been able to figure out why if he was able to see the entire city from up there he couldn’t see the city’s most famous landmark.  
  Each year as Rosh Hashana approaches many people find themselves despairingly thinking that this will yet be another year of failed growth. “I am exactly who I was last year and the year before that, and I can never change.” But in reality, that attitude is hardly ever true.
The gemara Kiddushin relates that Rav Yochanan would respectfully rise in the presence of any elderly person – even an Armenian. He would explain that by mere virtue of the fact that someone has lived in this world for many years he is worthy of respect. Merely living in this world changes a person. Life experiences and events demand maturity and the need to grow. Add to that a person who is conscientious of his shortcomings and sets goals for himself to improve and grow. It is impossible that such a person has not spiritually grown and matured as time passes.
It is always challenging to assess our own growth. Our evil inclination within us minimizes our accomplishments and highlights our deficiencies, making us feel woefully inadequate and like failures. The fact is that one cannot see the arch he has built when he is standing at the top.
There is no question that we all have ways to go and there is far more we can accomplish. True living is about growing and improving. But in order to have the courage and fortitude to continue that ascent it is vital that we take a step back to realize and appreciate how much we have built and grown until now.     

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum      

720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, September 11, 2014

PARSHAS KI SAVO 5774



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Ki Savo
17 Elul 5774/September 12, 2014
Pirkei Avos – Perek 3-4

One Shabbos afternoon during the summer of 2010, in the Staum bungalow at Camp Dora Golding, a four year old boy (whose last name happens to be Staum) decided to jump off the top bunk bed. I would imagine he thought he would land comfortably on the floor. Well, land he did, but he was no Clark Kent, and did not very comfortably.
Despite his shrieks of pain, at first it didn’t seem like it was anything more than a bad bruise. But when he still wasn’t moving his hand properly after three days his parents brought him to the local Emergency Room for x-rays. The prognosis confirmed that he could not fly, and his hand was fractured and needed a cast. When the nurse asked him what color cast he wanted, he answered immediately that he wanted a red cast because (he decided) he was on the red team for color war.
This same child however, is not too shabby when it comes to the pool. He has no problem jumping into the water, coming out, and jumping in again. Why are the results so vastly different when he jumps in the pool from when he jumped off his bed? Because when he jumps in the pool his landing has been wisely and safely planned.
On February 3, 1999, Mario A. Zacchini, the last surviving member of the original generation of human cannonballs died. Zacchini was routinely explosively launched at a speed of 90 m.p.h. from a cannon across a circus tent into a net, usually three times a day.
He often said that ''flying isn't the hard part; landing in the net is.''
Every year as Rosh Hashana approaches, we accept upon ourselves kabbalos – resolutions for the new year. We have all experienced the frustration of not following through on our goals, and feeling we are right back where we started. But hopefully we have also experienced some modicum of success and self improvement. Wherein lies the difference?
Often it’s dependent on whether we think through our ‘landing’. The Yetzer Hara is a master of making us feel like our resolutions are inadequate and inefficient. He convinces us to take on too much, and to accept upon ourselves to completely rectify all of our character defects in one year, or even in one week! So we take the plunge from our high horse and end up crashing into the pavement, bruising our self esteem and further convincing ourselves that we can never change.
The Ba’alei Mussar urge us that our kabbalos must be accepted be in moderation. Small steps of self improvement are tremendous personal victories and should be valued as such. They infuse us with confidence and encourage us to proceed further.
When we jump in to comfortable waters, then as soon as we acclimate ourselves we are free to swim out yonder, as far as we can swim and the tide will carry us.  

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum      


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, September 4, 2014

PARSHAS KI SETZEI 5774


“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Ki Setzei
10 Elul 5774/September 5, 2014
Pirkei Avos – Perek 2

How many taxes are filed on the night of April 14? Just ask all the accountants who come to the Seder bleary eyed. And how many people file for extensions and don’t complete them until October 14?
My Rebbe, Rabbi Berel Wein, often wryly notes that the procrastinator’s club is holding their first meeting… next week.
People procrastinate because they feel too anxious to do what they need/want to do. The problem is that procrastinating only exacerbates feelings of anxiety. When a person procrastinates he feels more stressed that, not only is he shirking his responsibilities, but he is also doing nothing to accomplish that goal. It becomes a vicious cycle.
In life generally, we settle into our comfort zone in which we feel secure, knowing what and when to expect things. We like the familiar and predictable. To expand our comfort zone requires optimism and a confidence to step into the vast unknown. It also entails the willingness and ‘guts’ to risk failure. Often we shy away from opportunities because we don’t want to place ourselves in uncomfortable situations.
The problem is that if we don’t expand our comfort zone it begins to shrink. We start to lose confidence in our abilities and faith in ourselves. To feel accomplished and successful one needs to challenge his surroundings and be willing to feel periodically uncomfortable.
So often we don’t progress until something forces us to. “Good enough is the enemy of better”, and we often reason that we are doing good enough! If and when we are forced out of our comfort zone by life situations we often resist mightily. But if we persevere and are able to adequately traverse the challenge, we look back at that impetus as a blessing in disguise.
The opening words of Shaarei Teshuva state: “From amongst the goodness that G-d, blessed is He, has bestowed upon His creations, is that he has prepared for them a path to ascend from the depth of their actions and to flee the abyss of sin, to save their souls from utter destruction, and to turn His wrath away from them.”
In his commentary, Rav Matisyahu Salomon shlita explains that if the Shaarei Teshuva commences by relating to us how great the gift of teshuva is, then it follows that we should feel joy and internal happiness when engaging in teshuva.
Elul and Tishrei are days of solemn introspection. But beyond that arduous soul work lies great satisfaction and fulfillment. All the issues and ‘stuff’ that we push off dealing with all year round, now stand before us like a brick wall. We want to flee its grasp and run back to our idyllic life of complacency and rote. But Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are rapidly approaching and we don’t want to lose the opportunity afforded to us.
When we indeed embrace the challenge that confronts us to scrutinize ourselves and contemplate how we can be better spouses, parents, children, community members, Torah Jews, etc. we will feel that sense of deep joy that results from fulfilling our responsibilities once and for all and expanding the confines of our little selfish world.        

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum       


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425