Thursday, December 25, 2014

PARSHAS VAYIGASH 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Vayigash
4 Teves 5775/ December 26, 2014
      
This week the Monsey community was faced with an epic catastrophe. Here it was, the middle of the Chanukah, and there were no chocolate coins to be found in any of the stores. Evergreen, Rockland Kosher, Hatzlacha, All Fresh, and Wesley Kosher – none to be found. Hoping for a repeat of the Chanukah miracle the masses searched but, alas they did not find! There was a searing void in Monsey’s Chanukah observance.
I think most people agree that people shouldn’t air their dirty laundry in public, nor should they broadcast their personal issues to everyone they meet on the street. But the fact is that much of this country does just that. For some reason Americans, and many Europeans, want everyone to know that there is something missing from their life, and they just can’t figure out what it is.
Some people wear their emotions on their sleeves. But Americans wear their biggest issue on their chest. It reads: “GAP”. Judging by the high numbers of depression and the fact that there aren’t enough therapists to go around, it’s clear that there is a GAP. But why does everyone else need to know about it?
There definitely seems to be a counter voice who replies to the GAP advertisers that they are out of their minds. Those people refer to our society as a “Banana Republic”.
The bottom line is that you can’t fill a spiritual GAP with physical objects or physical enjoyments!
We live in an extremely blessed society brimming with affluence and plenty. But all of the affluence in the world cannot grant a sense of fulfillment. What it does breed is a sense of entitlement and a lack of ability to deal with deficiencies and challenges, which only seek to further frustrate the desperate need to find fulfillment.  
There’s no doubt about it. There’s something missing in the hearts and souls of so many today and they can’t seem to satiate it. The more people try to quell that inner pining with “stuff” and “fun”, the more elusive the antidote to that GAP seems to be.
If we want to find something we are desperately looking for we should take an example from the Macaabees. They won incredible victories from implacable and superior foes, but that did not satisfy them. They re-entered the Bais Hamikdash and searched, pined, and yearned to fulfill the long forsaken mitzvah in perfect purity. It was only when they were able to do so that they rejoiced and felt fulfilled.
My Rebbe, Rabbi Berel Wein, quips that the Jewish heart is always searching and pursuing. The only question is what it is that he chooses to pursue and search for. Life is hardly perfect and there are always GAPSs. The defining question is: which GAPs does one chose to focus on. Does he search for the missing jar of pure oil or is he busy searching for the missing chocolate coins? The problem is that the chocolate coins will do little to satisfy the inner yearning of the lofty Jewish heart and soul.
The light of the Menorah must continue to fill the GAPs within us long after they have burned out.

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum     


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, December 18, 2014

CHANUKAH/MIKETZ 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Miketz
27 Kislev 5775/ December 19, 2014
Shabbos Chanukah/Mevorchim Chodesh Teves

I join the masses
The multitudes standing
In awed silence
Watching his every move
To witness the scene -
So holy
So regal
So pure
Eyes closed
Thoughts transcending
So removed
Transported to a celestial world
He seems to be listening -
Angels 
They dance before him
As he sways gently,
Serenely
Then his voice reverberates
Gratitude for sanctification
The candle’s light
And for the miracles of then, at this time

What pristine beauty!
What service to his Creator!
What devotion!
What love!
I yearn to replicate that service
To be -
So holy
So regal
                        So pure
So transcending
I gather my family
            We stand by the window
My eyes are closed
I sway gently
I can hear the angels as they sing…
“Stop touching me!”
“Mommy, I had it first!”
            “That was my candle!”
Annoyance wells up inside me
Where is my holiness?
Where is my regality?
Where is my purity?
I open my eyes
I look at the faces around me
There they are!
The angels G-d has granted me
The candles I’ve been entrusted to ignite
My partner to share it all with
I close my eyes again
Then my voice reverberates
With gratitude for sanctification
Through the candle’s light
And for the miracles of now
– Every single day!



     
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos
Freilichen Chanukah/Orot Sameiach,
           R’ Dani and Chani Staum       


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, December 11, 2014

PARSHAS VAYESHEV 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Vayeshev
20 Kislev 5775/ December 12, 2014
      
On one occasion Rav Lazer Shach zt’l was not feeling well and slept past the early time of Kerias Shema. The following morning he was inconsolable. He related that he felt like one who went to sleep on the first night of Pesach and woke up the next morning, having missed the Seder and all of the mitzvos uniquely endemic to that night, including matzah, marror, and the four cups of wine.
For a number of summers during my early adolescence I attended Camp Torah Vodaas in Highland, NY. I have many wonderful memories from those summers, and many lasting friendships that I made there.
It was also there that I first met Rabbi Mordechai Finkelman. Today Rabbi Finkelman is one of our family’s foremost Rabbeim and guides for life. Back then he was the Head Counselor of Camp Torah Vodaas. When the camp closed its doors in 1997, and I headed back to Camp Dora Golding, Rabbi Finkelman migrated there as well.
One of the many special memories I have of Rabbi Finkelman from our days in Camp Torah Vodaas involved an early wake up call on Shabbos mornings.
There is a notable dispute between the Magen Avrohom and the Vilna Gaon as to how late into the morning Kerias Shema may be recited. The halacha states that it may be recited until three halachic hours into the day (when the daylight hours are divided into 12 equal segments). They dispute when those three hours begin – dawn or sunrise. The halacha follows the later time, as ruled by the Vilna Gaon. However, those who are meticulous will be particular to recite Kerias Shema before the time limit of the Magen Avrohom.
Camp davened later on Shabbos morning than they did the rest of the week. The regular camp wakeup was after the time of the Magen Avrohom had already passed (before the time of the Vilna Gaon). At the beginning of each summer Rabbi Finkelman would announce that anyone who wanted to be woken up early enough to recite Shema before the time of the Magen Avrohom should see him.
The truth is at that time I don’t think I even understood what ‘the earlier zeman Kerias Shema’ was, nevertheless I asked to be woken up. Rabbi Finkelman wrote down my name, bunk number, and where my bed was situated in the bunk on a little notebook. Every Shabbos morning he would walk into the bunk with that little notebook and gently tap my arm and whisper “Good Shabbos; it’s almost the first z’man Kerias Shema.” He would then go to each camper whose name was written in the bunk, before he proceeded to the next bunk.  
To be honest there were many Shabbos mornings when I fell back to sleep without saying Kerias Shema, but it made a deep impression on me. Now I try to be particular to say Shema before the earlier time.
When the Maccabees entered the Bais Hamikdash and found the one jar of pure oil they rejoiced because they had the ability to perform the mitzvah of lighting the menorah in pristine purity. They could have employed many leniencies to perform the mitzvah, but when re-inaugurating the long dormant mitzvah they wanted to ensure that it was performed on the highest level.  
A Rebbe of mine used to say that Chanukah separates the men from the boys. It is a time when we look to ‘up the ante’. We seek to not be satisfied with getting by in our spiritual pursuits, but we look to perform on a higher level, beyond our obligations.
It is amazing to me that Rabbi Finkelman took it upon himself to walk around each Shabbos morning to give a few young men the opportunity to perform a mitzvah in a more optimal fashion. Without his efforts everyone would have been able to fulfill the mitvah perfectly well, albeit without that extra level of fulfilling a more stringent opinion.
It’s one thing to perform a mitzvah on the highest level of mehadrin min hamehadrin. It’s another thing to live it! 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos
Freilichen Chanukah/Orot Sameiach,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum           


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, December 4, 2014

PARSHAS VAYISHLACH 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Vayishlach
13 Kislev 5775/ December 5, 2014
      
What a difference a few degrees makes! Last Wednesday the first snowstorm of the season dumped almost half a foot of snow on Monsey. But while Monsey got hit by young man winter, balmy New York City and Lakewood had nothing but cold rain.
            The news report noted that it was a heavy snow. I heard in those words a warning that driving conditions would be hazardous, but my children heard that it would be ideal snowman/snowball conditions.
            Early school dismissal allowed them to construct their snow-people (my son made a snowman, my daughter a snowwoman). The compact snow was great for sledding too. It wasn’t even December yet and we were fully enveloped by winter.
            It reminded me of a poignant thought I heard from Rav Dovid Orlofsky:
Inuit, the language spoken by Eskimos, contains well over fifty different words that describe snow. Following are just a few examples: Tlapa - powder snow, tlacringit - snow that is crusted on the surface, kayi- drifting snow, tlapat - still snow, tlamo - snow that falls in large wet flakes, tlatim - snow that falls in small flakes, tlaslo - snow that falls slowly, tlapinti - snow that falls quickly, kripya - snow that has melted and refrozen, tliyel - snow that has been marked by wolves, tliyelin - snow that has been marked by Eskimos, blotla - blowing snow, pactla - snow that has been packed down, hiryla - snow in beards.
            To us the only thing that matters to us about snow is whether it will impact driving conditions, close school, and if it will be good for snowball fights. But when snow is your life, every different variation is important and matters, and needs to be described accordingly.
            The truth is that the amount of words in a language to describe something is very telling about its people. In Italy there are tens of different words that describe different variations of pasta. Following are just a few examples: Bavette, Bavettine, Ciriole,  Capellini, Cavatappi, Conchiglie, Ditalini, Farfalloni, Fettuccine, Fusilli, Grattoni, Lasagne (Gravagna), Linguine, Maccheroni alla molinara, Mafaldine, Manicotti, Mostaccioli, Pappardelle, Penne, Pizzoccheri, Quadrettini, Ricciolini, Rigatoni, Rotini, Sagnarelli, Spaghetti alla chitarra, Stringozzi, Tagliatelle, Tortiglioni, Tripolini, Vermicelli, Ziti.
            Some are long, some thin, some coiled, and some folded - all in different shapes, variations, and sizes. The Italians take their pasta very seriously!
So what do we take seriously? What concept  does lashon hakodesh have many different variations for, which other languages may be able to describe in just a few basic words?
Tefillah - the concept of prayer! In Yishtabach alone we utilize fifteen expressions of praise for Hashem. We take prayer very seriously and expend a great deal of time and effort to understand the significance and potency that our prayers have.
Yitzchok Avin uttered the legendary words: “The voice is the voice of Yaakov; the hands are the hands of Eisav.” We believe that talk is anything but cheap – perhaps talk is easy, but it isn’t cheap. But more specifically we believe that prayers have an effect on the entire world. At the beginning of creation rain didn’t fall until man prayed for it, and in that sense, it hasn’t changed in almost six thousand years.
The Italians enjoy their pasta, the Eskimos live in the snow, and we thrive with prayer!

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum       


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, November 27, 2014

PARSHAS VAYETZEI 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Vayetzei
6 Kislev 5775/ November 28, 2014
      
As I walked home from shul this past Shabbos with my son Shalom, we were reminiscing about our family trip to Eretz Yisroel a year ago. Shalom expressed that he was disappointed with “Eretz Yisroel”. He felt that it was somewhat of a letdown. He had seen so many pictures and heard so many stories about Eretz Yisroel, and particularly the Kosel, and he was expecting the experience to be much loftier and glamorous than it was.
I told Shalom that life is often like that. Things often aren’t as spectacular as we anticipate. But more importantly, he wasn’t alone in his experience in Eretz Yisroel, or in visiting the Kosel for the first time. Many people report that same sense of disappointment. They expect to arrive at the Kosel to feel an angelic embrace as they are swept off their feet by their spiritual force that exudes from the holiest place on earth. But instead they find that they are staring at a wall; an ancient wall with greenery protruding from between its stones, and many people milling around in front – some praying, some learning, some collecting charity, some taking pictures with stapled cardboard kippot on their heads, and others talking gregariously on their cell phones seemingly oblivious to the sanctity of the place.
The truth is that holiness isn’t something one naturally feels. Feelings of the soul must be developed. One must have a sense of spiritual maturity to appreciate sanctity.
In parshas Shemos Hashem instructs Moshe to inform Klal Yisroel that He will soon be redeeming them from Egypt and bringing them to Eretz Yisroel. There the pasuk (Shemos 3:8) describes Eretz Yisroel as a land “flowing with milk and honey”.
Rav Shlomo Wolbe zt’l explained that both milk and honey are valuable and necessary commodities but are not immediately accessible. Unlike fruits which are noticeable on a tree and can easily be picked, milk remains hidden in the animal’s utter and must be squeezed. Honey too – whether bee honey or even date honey – must be squeezed in order to attain it. 
The greatness and beauty of Eretz Yisroel is not necessarily immediately apparent. It is only palpable to one who can appreciate the intrinsic holiness and how invaluable the land is.
Rabbi Mordechai Finkelman relates that years ago he took a group of campers to visit the Bobover Rebbe, Rav Shlomo Halberstam zt’l. The boys were not very affiliated with Judaism and had never been to a Rebbe before. Each boy lined up to shake the Rebbe’s hand. When it was the turn of one particular boy he stuck out his hand and as though greeting an old friend said “My name is Jack. What’s yours?” The Rebbe was unfazed and warmly replied “Shlomo Halberstam, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”  
One needs to develop and foster a sense of spiritual awareness in order to appreciate kedusha. Otherwise it’s just a wall, or an old religious guy with a white beard, or another synagogue where we go to pray, socialize, and have a good kiddush.
The difference between inspiration and a wall depends on whether we have the insight to see beyond what our physical eyes see.  

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
           R’ Dani and Chani Staum      


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, November 20, 2014

PARSHAS TOLDOS 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Toldos  
28 Cheshvan 5775/ November 21, 2014
Shabbos Mevorchim Chodesh Kislev
      
One of the most prized seforim that I have from my zaydes massive collection is a rosh hashana/Yom Kippur machzor printed in Germany in 1840. I always make sure to use the machzor for part of davening during those holy days. I love the feeling of its ancient yellowing yet thick and strong pages and clear ink, and I like to think about the stories this machzor could tell.
But the machzor wasn't printed by Artscroll to say the least. I always chuckle to myself when I get to the words at the beginning of shemone esrei which states, "b'choref (in the winter one adds the prayer): Mashiv Haruach"
As Yom Kippur of course will never fall out during the winter it's a cute editorial oversight.
But this week I realized that it's not such a joke. Perhaps Yom Kippur will never fall out during the winter, but this week Tisha B’av did – again!
Once again Klal Yisroel is observing a national Tisha B'av out of season. The massacre that took place this week in a shul in the Har Nof section of Yerushalayim, the murdering and maiming of multiple Jews wrapped in their talis and tefillin, has left us all in utter shock.
We were sure nothing else could so shock us. After all, by now we have heard of suicide bombers blowing up busses and pizza shops, three yeshiva bochurim killed in senseless cold blood, a massacre in a yeshiva killing multiple yeshiva students over their gemaras, a father murdered along with his daughter who was to be married that very night, the murder of an innocent infant and a pure convert, and the list painfully goes on. And yet here we are again - in shock. People murdered in shul wrapped in Tallis and tefillin while davening? How could it be?
We again have nothing to grasp but our faith that Hashem is all good and knows what He is doing, even as we are reeling.
Of course when it hits close to home the pain is magnified. Rabbi Twerski hy'd was a rebbe in yeshivas Toras Moshe, which I attended for a time. Although he was not my rebbe I remember his radiant countenance and how he would lovingly teach Torah to his admiring students.
When I looked at the horrific picture of the body of one of the victims draped by his talis with tefillin still wrapped around the listless arm, I yearned to grab the hand and lift it off the ground. I yearned to see that hand again move in prayer, clutching a siddur lovingly. Alas, the hand will move no longer!
But I realized that I have the ability to cause a similar hand, also regally decked in tefillin, sway gracefully in prayer while clutching a siddur - i.e. my own hand.
I daven each morning, and have the great merit to don those G-d endowed gifts for a few precious moments of prayer each morning. But it's hard to remember how precious those gifts are. I am tired in the morning, and I have a lot of concerns and affairs to deal with later in the day. It's hard to concentrate on davening and it's even harder to awaken within myself feelings of excitement for my talis and tefillin, which I wore yesterday, and the day before yesterday.
But that image serves as a painful reminder. I have no doubt that the neshama of that holy martyr would tell me to appreciate what he can no longer do; to cherish those moments and cherish those gifts. Put aside everything else - it will wait! Leave your silly cell phone closed and focus on the davening.
Tisha B’av has arrived yet again. On Tisha B’av morning we do not wear tefillin. But in the afternoon we do. We gather solace in the unified mourning and love of our people, and we forge on with faith in Hashem.
May the ethereal light of Chanukah arrive early to douse the darkness of the Tisha B’av that came late.
May Hashem comfort the mourners, and may Hashem comfort all of us.

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum      


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, November 13, 2014

PARSHAS CHAYEI SARAH 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Chayei Sara
21 Cheshvan 5775/ November 14, 2014
      
Next Thursday, 27 Cheshvan will be the yahrtzeit of my Zaide, Rav Yaakov Meir Kohn zt’l. Every year during the weeks before his yahrtzeit I take out the few binders I have containing his sketchy writings containing his Torah thoughts. Many of those thoughts were written in his distinctive (difficult to read) shorthand writing, hastily recorded on the back of any paper that was in his vicinity. So there are divrei Torah written on the back of invitations, bills, letters, and receipts stuck into the pages of his seforim.
Zaide also had a tremendous collection of seforim which lined many of the walls of his Lower East Side apartment. My Bubby ybl’c would often complain to him that there was no more room for more seforim. Her efforts were futile however, as he would sneak bags into the apartment and leave them under the dining room table. Then when Bubby wasn’t in the area he would clandestinely move the bags into his study.
The week after he passed away two bags full of seforim were found under the dining room table.
I have a few seforim from Zaide. Although most of those seforim have been reprinted, those old seforim are obviously very precious to me.
The prize of that collection is Zaide’s Kovetz Shiurim.  
Kovetz Shiurim is a familiar sefer in the hallowed halls of yeshivos the world over. It is a collection of the shiurim of Rav Elchanan Wasserman zt’l hy’d, the great Rosh Yeshiva of Baranovitch who was murdered during the Holocaust. Kovetz Shiurim was first printed in 1964 by the author’s son, Rav Simcha Wasserman zt’l.  
The sefer I have is from that original printing and has a purple cover. The reason that particular sefer is so special to me is because Zaide was a talmid of Reb Elchanan in the Baranovitch Yeshiva for some time. I imagine him entering a seforim store in 1964 and seeing that the shiurim of his late Rebbe had been collected and printed. I imagine how it brought back memories of his days as a student in the yeshiva and the images of his saintly rebbe delivering those same shiurim. I imagine the bittersweet emotions that seeing the sefer for the first time must have evoked, perhaps even a few tears.    
When I hold that sefer and I learn from it I feel connected, not only to my beloved Zaide, but also to what he felt connected to – the Torah of a previous generation.
This week our family celebrates the birth of our newest nephew, Mordechai Shlomo, born to my brother and sister-in-law, Yaakov and Michal. [B’ris was Thursday morning in Yerushalayim.]Yaakov is named after Zaide and it is especially meaningful that his son’s b’ris will iyh be this Thursday, 20 Cheshvan, seven days before his namesake’s yahrtzeit.
May the newborn baby be a source of pride for our family, and all of Klal Yisroel, as he becomes the newest link in the endless chain of our glorious heritage. 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum      


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, November 6, 2014

PARSHAS VAYERA 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Vayera
14 Cheshvan 5775/ November 7, 2014
      
Have you ever looked at old pictures of yourself and thought about how different you are than the person in the picture?
Life itself is an experience that changes us, whether we like it or not.
Recently Chani and I were leafing through a scrapbook chronicling the time we dated until we were engaged. As we reminisced about that time period we realized that we are indeed very different people than we were then. We have shared many incredible blessings, as well as many challenging moments, and we have definitely grown and changed in a variety of ways.
Avrohom Avinu lived a life of challenges and tests. According to some commentators the first test was “lech lecha” when he was told to leave his family, friends, community and everything familiar to travel to an unknown destination. The final test was the ‘akeidah’ when Avrohom was instructed to offer his beloved son Yitzchok as an offering on the altar.
The Medrash notes that when Hashem commanded Avrohom to perform the akeidah He also utilized an expression of ‘lech lecha’ (“Go to Mount Moriah…”). The Medrash then states that we are not sure which ‘lech lecha’ was greater – the original or the latter.
What is the question of the Medrash? How could any test be more arduous and challenging than the akeidah?
Tests are not measured only based on circumstance, but also based on who the person is. Two people may be faced with the exact same challenge and yet deal with it completely differently. What’s more, the same person may react differently to the same situation at various stages of life. 
Although the command to offer Yitzchok upon the altar was an incredible challenge, by that point Avrohom had reached an unimaginable connection with Hashem. He had proven again and again his unwavering loyalty and commitment. At the time he was instructed to leave his family and birthplace however, he had not yet achieved that level of sublime greatness. Therefore, although the akeidah was undoubtedly a more difficult task in and of itself, based on who Avrohom was at that point versus who he was at the time he was instructed ‘lech lecha’ it is not so clear cut which was a greater test.
We hear about other people’s predicaments, and about things other people have done or have not done, and we are quick to pass judgment, point fingers, and blame. At times we may feel that we have a right to do so because we faced the same challenge and dealt with it far more adequately. But we forget how little we really know about each other, for our eyes can only see the surface. Beneath the superficial surface lies the depth and essence of people – their proclivities, inclinations, penchants and what makes them tick.
We can never really judge others. We may see what they do, but we can hardly know who they really are.

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum      


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, October 30, 2014

PARSHAS LECH LECHA 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Lech Lecha
7 Cheshvan 5775/ October 31, 2014
      
A number of years ago before we moved into our current home, we were looking at homes that were for sale. Hanging in the bedroom of one the homes was a poem entitled “Tell Her So”. It read:
Amid the cares of married life, In spite of toil and business strife, If you value your sweet wife,
Tell her so!
Don't act as if she's passed her prime, As though to please her were a crime- If e'er you loved her, now's the time;
Tell her so!
You are hers and hers alone: Well you know she's all your own; Don't wait to carve it on the stone
Tell her so!
Never let her heart grow cold; Richer beauties will unfold, She is worth her weight in gold;
Tell her so!
After seeing it I concluded that either the man of the house had hung it up as a reminder to himself in which case he probably had a wonderful marriage, or the woman of the house had hung it up because their marriage needed some serious help!
I once heard a lecturing Rabbi suggest – somewhat surprisingly – that he felt men should not buy their wives flowers every Shabbos. He reasoned that doing so makes the flowers become a trite habit that loses its meaning. A flower with a card that reads “Thanks for everything” each week, will no longer be appreciated as a special gesture, but rather as something expected. He felt that flowers should be saved for special occasions – or emergency situations (at a local florist, one of the little cards at the counter has a picture of a man coming out of a dog house…).
His point is unquestionably debatable. However, it is definitely true that when something becomes ritualized it loses much of its inherent meaning and depth. On the other hand, a friend of mine related that he buys flowers for his wife almost every Erev Shabbos, but he includes a card in which he thanks her for something specific each week.
I once read about a great man who davened Shemoneh Esrei for an extended period of time three times each day. When he was asked why it takes him so long, he replied that when he recites Modim (the thanksgiving prayer) he thinks about the long list of things for which he is grateful to G-d. He hardly has enough time to say just a few of them.
Rav Avigdor Miller zt’l suggests that every person think about one unique thing for which he/she is thankful for every time Modim is recited.
Our relationship with G-d is metaphorically compared to a marriage. Although G-d does not need our thanks, the more we recognize and express our gratitude to Him the more thankful we will be generally, and the more people will want to be around us.

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum      


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Thursday, October 23, 2014

PARSHAS NOACH 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Noach
30 Tishrei 5775/October 24, 2014
1 Rosh Chodesh MarCheshvan  
      
Last week on Simchas Torah I was asked to lain a few ‘rounds’ of Parshas V’zos Haberacha, to help ensure that every man and boy received an aliyah to the Torah. I was still laining when my bechor, Shalom, received his aliyah. After he masterfully said the beracha I began laining the aliyah.
Being that our family are Leviim, Shalom received the aliyah that begins with the words “Ul’Levi Amar”. It contains the blessing Moshe Rabbeinu conveyed to his own tribe, where he blessed the Levites with the priesthood of the nation. Moshe explained that they were worthy of that blessing because when he rallied the nation to avenge the honor of G-d after the sin of the golden calf it was his fellow Levites who heeded his call. Moshe lauded the Levites for ignoring the fact that they may have been obliged to strike at their own maternal grandfathers or uncles who had been involved in the egregious sin. The fact that their love of G-d superseded their natural love for their own flesh and blood made them worthy of the loftiest responsibility of performing the holy Service in the Mishkan.
As I read those words with my bechor standing next to me following along it struck me. I love my son more than life itself and I hope he feels the same for me. But if I am worthy to educate him properly, his love for me will not be above all else. His love for Hashem will be even greater.
The first nationally distributed feature film that included dialogue sequences as well as music and sound effects produced by Hollywood was ‘The Jazz Singer’, starring Al Jolson (1927). The protagonist of the movie is a Jewish cantor who falls for an Italian gentile girl. At first he is banned from the Temple. But the story ends with the protagonist leading the Kol Nidrei services with his mother and gentile wife looking on from the balcony approvingly.
That message of Jewish-dominated Hollywood has not changed in the decades since. Hollywood espouses that ‘love’ must champion all else. The fact that they have replaced ‘love’ with fleeting romance and cheap uncommitted narcissistic relationships is largely unrecognized by our society.
The truth is that we agree that love must champion all else – albeit the love for G-d and His Torah. There is no greater value that we wish we can inculcate in our children. Life is the most valuable commodity we have, and every moment of it is precious. But what makes life valuable? Mesillas Yesharim explains that it is only through living a proper life in this world that one can enter and merit the bliss of the next world.
The greatness of life is measured by how much value one infuses into his life and how one chooses to utilize the great gift endowed to him. When one possesses love and appreciation for Torah and its timeless values than his entire life has meaning. 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum      


720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

SUCCOS/HOSHANA RABBAH 5775



“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Hoshana Rabbah – “Z’man Simchaseinu” 5775
21 Tishrei 5774/October 15, 2014
EIRUV TAVSHILIN!
      
“So what are you doing today?”
“I’m not sure yet. We were thinking about the aquarium, but my big ones aren’t interested. So we were thinking about ice skating, but my little ones can’t do that. So I think we are just going to stay home and discuss what we should have done.”
Actually, the Staum family had a wonderful Chol Hamoed b’h, and enjoyed some nice family outings. On Monday we visited Argos Farm about a half hour from my in-law’s home in Lakewood.
When we first arrived the place was packed with people who had come, not for Chol Hamoed, but in honor of Columbus Day, if you get my drift. Many of them also came to pick out a mehudar pumpkin for their upcoming holiday. [I saw some that were big enough even according to the Chazon Ish shiurim.]
No sooner had we arrived when a misty rain began to steadily fall (it was a figment of our imagination because the weather report said there was only a 20% chance of rain). Nevertheless, we enjoyed the damp hay ride and corn maze.
Before we entered the corn maze the guide handed us a map with numbers for us to follow. We entered together, and it soon became clear that the numbers had gotten lost in the maze. There were none to be found. After a few more turns we lost my father-in-law.
At one point after a few dead ends one of our children suggested that we turn around and retrace our steps. I explained to him that we couldn’t go back the way we came because the whole idea was to find our way to the exit, not to go back where we came from, which we anyway wouldn’t be able to find
Mesillas Yesharim states that life is like a maze. There are many twists and turns and we have to stay true to the proper path without getting lost along the way.
            After the September 11th attacks, Rav Moshe Shapiro shlita noted that he was concerned that people were davening that things return back to the way they were, to what was familiar and comfortable.
            He explained that such a prayer is a big mistake! G-d guides the world along a specific trajectory and there are no mistakes. He has a plan and a mission for us. Whenever situations arise – for good or for better - we must accept that life will no longer be what it was. “Mir darfen zich tzushtelen tzu ratzon haBorei- We must connect to what G-d wants of us!”
            A corn maze is not quite as serious as the maze of life. But it was a great reminder of the fact that in life we must always proceed and try to connect with what G-d wants of us, not what we feel is best.  
            It was a great lesson, even though when we excitedly found our way back we realized that we were exiting at the entrance. We had come back to the beginning after all. But hey, why should I let our clumsiness ruin a perfectly good article?
            By the way, in case you were worried, we found my father-in-law afterwards. He was sitting by the entrance to the farm waiting for us.

A Git Kvitel- Good Yom Tov & Chag Sameiach,
            R’ Dani and Chani Staum      

720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425