“RABBI’S MUSINGS (&
AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Vaera
Mevorchim Chodesh Shevat
27 Teves 5782/December 31, 2021
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לרפואה שלימה נטע יצחק בן רחל
ENDURING MESSAGES
Try to
tell a child today that when you were a kid you used to write letters, and he
will look at you strangely. He may even ask you if you wrote a, b or c?
Once
upon a time, children went off to summer camp and their parents would remind
them to write letters. Wise parents would place self-addressed, stamped letters
in their child’s suitcase before the child left to camp. Even wiser parents
would remind their children that canteen money would be sent in response to
letters written home.
Back
then, during dinner in camp, every camper would excitedly rush to the table,
eager to find out if someone sent him a letter.
I have
many fond memories from the letters I received from my parents, grandparents,
and friends, when I was a camper. Aside from asking how things were going and
hoping I was having a great time, my father’s letters often included lamenting
about how poorly the Yankees were doing (in the early 1990s the Yankees were
pretty bad). Without those updates, I would have had no clue. Those letters
were our connection to the outside world.
These
days, campers know the scores of every game often before their parents back
home know. Campers also receive numerous printed emails delivered to their
table each night. It’s rare for a camper to receive a handwritten letter. If he
does, he may be confused about how to open it. Sometimes his teenage counselor
is just as bewildered.
More
than the information they contained, handwritten letters helped us feel connected
to the writer of the letter.
According
to the US Postal Service, the average home only received a personal letter once
every seven weeks in 2010, down from once every two weeks in 1987. In recent
years, the average American only received 10 pieces of handwritten mail
throughout the year! Who has time for stamps, stationery, and “manual”
spell-check?
Cousins
of ours who made Aliyah a few decades ago were looking to move to a newly
developing yishuv (settlement) in Eretz Yisroel. As part of the vetting process
to decide if they were a good fit for the community, they were told they had to
submit a handwritten essay that contained certain pertinent information, that
would be reviewed by a graphologist.
After
they submitted it, the graphologist wrote a report describing their
personalities and other information about them that she gleaned from their
writing.
My
cousin related that the results were eerie. The graphologist’s report was
incredibly accurate. It was as if she had known them for years. All that from
one essay written in his and her own handwriting.
Seeing
someone’s handwriting is seeing a piece of the person.
The
beauty of a handwritten note is that it shows deeper investment and
appreciation than a simple verbal or emailed thank-you.
A valuable,
yet often forgotten, way to enhance relationships is to leave written messages
in different places.
A friend
related that one year before Yom Kippur he left a personalized note in each of
his older children’s machzorim, telling them how proud he was of them and
blessing them with a wonderful year. Of course, he could have just told them.
But he wanted them to have the written note that they could reread many times.
Personally,
as a rebbe I know how meaningful it is when I receive a handwritten personalized
message of gratitude from a student or his parents. Checks are always nice, but
written messages recognizing effort and devotion are far more memorable.
Between
spouses especially, handwritten notes are invaluable. A brief message of
gratitude or affection left where the other spouse is sure to see it, can go a
long way in keeping the spark of love aflame.
In
addition, handwritten Torah notes, are especially precious. When my rebbe,
Rabbi Berel Wein, made Aliyah with his wife in 1997, he had to downsize and
leave behind many seforim from his vast library. He allowed talmidim to take
many of his seforim.
To that
end, I have in my possession Rabbi Wein’s gemara Kiddushin from his Yeshiva
days. It is marked up with many notes in the margins, as well as quite a few
loose pages full of notes from his Rebbe’s shiurim.
My
Zaydei, Rabbi Yaakov Meir Kohn, was also an avid note taker. Most of his notes,
however, were written shorthand in a makeshift Lithuanian script in with the
all the letters of a word were connected, making it challenging to decipher. He
also often wrote on the back of any paper next to him when he was learning,
including old bills, invitations, and advertisements.
It is
always a painstaking process, going from word to word trying to decipher what
my Zaydei wrote. Thankfully, I have had some success, and I feel blessed to
have been able to glean a pittance from his wellsprings of knowledge through
his written notes. But even the many notes that I cannot read and don’t know
what he meant, are very near and dear to me, because when I hold and read his writing,
I feel connected to him.
In many
yeshivos, a rebbe will hang up a small paper containing ‘mareh mekomos’
(reference pages that are pre-studied in order to understand an upcoming shiur/
Talmudic lecture). A friend related that in his Yeshiva, students would vie to
get hold of that paper after the shiur. Whoever got it would then tape it into
the front of their Gemara. It was a pride-thing to have the Rebbe’s handwritten
notes.
I don’t think
my children can relate to having an old shoe box filled with old letters or
short notes from former colleagues or friends? Periodically, when I come across
my box full of old letters from decades ago, I take some time to read the
messages. It brings back fond memories, smiles, and often evokes strong
emotions.
We don’t
print emails and display them on our desks or refrigerators, the way we might
with letters from friends. Handwritten notes have permanence and conveys a
message of appreciation. It shows that we are willing to take a few minutes
from our day to actually put pen to paper in an attempt to convey emotions and
deeper feelings. It is a forgotten art that helps forge true and meaningful
connection. What’s even greater is that those notes and messages remain for
years to come.
As our
world becomes more impersonal and regimented, it’s worthy to remember the value
and unparalleled sense of connection of the written word.
Shabbat
Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum