“RABBI’S MUSINGS (&
AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Bechukosai –
Chazak!
27 Iyar 5782/May 27, 2022
Erev Yom Yerushalayim
Mevorchim Chodesh Sivan
Avos perek 5- 41st day of Omer
לזכר נשמת חו"מ נטע
יצחק בן אלכסנדר
I am happy to report that my Striving Higher Haggadah is
currently being edited and will be published by Mosaica Press before Pesach
5783 iy”H.
Although much of the book has already been sponsored, I
am looking for more sponsors to help offset publishing costs.
Sponsors can be in memory, in honor or as a zechus.
Please contact me if you are interested in partnering
with me in the production of this unique Haggadah (stamtorah@gmail.com).
DESIGNATED OPENER
To be a father entails fulfilling many roles. One of the
most important of those unstated tasks is to be the family “opener”. During the
summer months it means opening your children’s ice pops. As any parent knows
that’s no easy feat. Some parents try to use a knife to cut off the top, which
sometimes works but often doesn’t. Eventually, most fathers get frustrated and
just bite off the top. If he’s not careful he ends up with some splotches of
the ices on his shirt. This is especially annoying on Shabbos when he is
wearing a white shirt and for the rest of the day everyone will know what kind
of ices he had. Then there’s always that gnawing question of whether he should
say a beracha before biting off the top. He doesn’t really want to eat it, but
he did taste it….
Dads also have the unenviable task of opening jars and
bottles. After a few unsuccessful tries, a child (or wife) hands a stubborn jar
or bottle to the father to open. In that moment his position as man of the
house is unwittingly being called into question.
With a silent prayer he grabs the bottle and aggressively
tries to turn the cap. If he’s not successful, he turns the bottle over and
gives it a potch on its bottom for its disobedience. If that still doesn’t
help, he’ll stick a knife under the cap, even though that probably doesn’t do
anything.
If that doesn’t work, he may run to the cabinet and try
to switch the bottle (hoping he can find one) without anyone realizing it.
A few years ago, a young woman named Elisa Fernandes was
competing in a timed round in the final of 'Masterchef' Brazil. As the clock
ticked, she couldn’t open a jar she needed which itself could’ve ended her
hopes of winning. After trying twice unsuccessfully, she ran over to her father
who was watching on the side and handed him the jar. With one mighty twist he
opened the jar and handed it back to Elisa who went on to win the competition.
The clip is still viewed and circulated.
As I am sitting in my kitchen typing this brilliant
literary masterpiece, my daughter just handed me a pickle jar to open. I kid
you not. I am happy to report that, for the moment, I have defended my title as
man-of-the-house.
Creating new openings is no small feat. Every speaker
knows how key his opening words are in trying to reel in his audience.
On Shabbos there is much halachic discussion regarding
the permissibility of opening cans and bottles. The question is essentially
whether opening them is considered creating a new vessel or not. Without
creating an opening, the vessel is essentially useless. If you can’t access its
contents, it will do you no good.
The Medrash (Shir HaShirim Rabbah 5:2) relates that
Hashem tells us, as it were, “Create an opening for Me like the opening of a
needle and I will open for you like the entranceway to a banquet hall.” If we
make the initial effort, Hashem will help us continue along the spiritual road
we have begun to trudge.
The caveat is that it’s not so easy to create that minute
opening. I picture it as trying to open a door in a massive gale with sixty mph
winds blowing against it. It will require tremendous exertion to push the door
open at all against such strong opposing force. But as soon as there is a crack
of an opening, those winds will slam the door open until it’s barely hanging
onto its hinges.
Ben Azzai advises, “One should run to perform a “light”
mitzvah and flee from sin because one mitzvah drags along (i.e., leads to)
another mitzvah and one sin drags along with it another sin. The reward for
performing a mitzvah is another mitzvah and the reward for a sin is committing
another sin.” (Avos 4:2).
In the natural world the law of inertia states that
anything at rest will remain at rest unless it encounters an opposing force. In
the spiritual world the same is largely true. Our actions create a momentum
that continue to carry us along that trajectory. To change course all we need
is an “opposite act”. However, doing so entails countering the momentum and
fighting against the tide we have created. That is the challenge of creating a
new opening.
Perhaps there is nowhere that this principle holds true
than regarding education. The first requirement of education is to win over and
open the hearts of one’s students. If the child’s heart is closed for whatever
reason, regardless of who the educator is, the child will not be influenced
much.
Creating an opening can sometimes take significant time,
patience, insight and tenacity. This is especially true with children who have
erected a thick coat of armor to protect their fragile sense of self. But once
even a crack of an opening has been made, the sky is the limit with how much
can be accomplished.
It’s far easier to open a jar or a can than it is to open
a heart and soul. But creating such openings helps us along the proper path and
is the true test of great parenting and education.
Shabbat
Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum