“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Kedoshim
5 Iyar 5782/May 6, 2022
Avos perek 2- 20th day of Omer
לזכר נשמת חו"מ נטע
יצחק בן אלכסנדר
HIGHLIGHTING
LIFE
One morning recently,
I was standing in shul davening when I noticed the open siddur of the fellow
sitting in front of me. It was open to the prayer of Ahava Rabba recited prior
to Shema. It caught my eye because some of the words were highlighted: “Place in
our hearts to understand and to discern, to hear, to learn, to teach, to safeguard,
to perform and to fulfil all the words of Your Torah with love.”
I realized that I say
those beautiful words every morning, sadly, often mindlessly. But when I saw it
highlighted it helped me rethink about the beauty of those words.
As a result, a few
days later I picked one sentence from every paragraph in my siddur and
highlighted it. It was surely not to imply that that one sentence is any more
important than the others. But when I focused on one sentence that particularly
resonated with me, it helped me stay more focused generally on the words I was
saying.
In the world of
academia, highlighters are an essential component of learning. In their texts,
students highlight main points to outline them in order to make it easier for
them to study later.
Highlighting however, is not just something we do with a
fluorescent marker. We mentally highlight things throughout our day wherever we
go and in whatever we do. In fact, the things we highlight have a tremendous
impact on how we relate to and remember things.
There are countless
examples of this:
Someone goes on
vacation for a few days with his family. When they arrive at the airport one
piece of luggage is missing and it takes a few hours before it’s located. Then,
when they arrive at the hotel, their reservation doesn’t come up on the
computer and it ends up costing more time and money. On the way to one of their
outings one of the kids throws up all over the backseat of the rental car.
Aside for that the trip was fun and enjoyable.
How he remembers that
trip depends on what parts of it he highlights in his mind. He can perceive it
as a great trip with a few hiccups along the way. Or he can see it as a mostly
wasted vacation, with a few salvageable moments.
Reciting the annual
beracha on budding fruit trees at the beginning of spring helps highlight for
us the natural miracle of the world’s rebirth all around us. It helps us
realize that there is an incredible phenomenon taking place that we should
notice and appreciate.
Rabbi Avigdor Miller
related that one can gift his friend an entire house without spending a penny.
He walks into his neighbor’s house and comments about how beautiful it is and
mentions specific things he likes about the house. The neighbor may not have
appreciated his entire house. But when he hears an outsider highlight the
virtues of his house, he may suddenly have a newfound appreciation for his
house. With a few complimentary words he gifted his neighbor with the house he
has already been living in.
What’s unnerving is
that the opposite is true as well. With one sharp thoughtless comment we can
cause another to become disenfranchised with something they enjoyed or had been
proud of. It’s true with stuff and, more profoundly, with relationships as
well.
When dealing with
difficult people, especially difficult children, we must train ourselves to
mentally highlight their positive character traits and to find those ways in
which they shine. That will help us feel less impatient with them.
In the great prayer
composed by Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk we pray that we see the attributes of
our friends and not their deficiencies. Love and hate are rooted in what we
highlight in others. How vital is this idea in marriages!
This concept holds
true regarding movements and revolutions as well. Beginning in the 1760s,
American colonists highlighted their protestation against taxation without
representation, and used it as basis for their right to cede from British
authority.
During the 1700s the
Ba’al Shem Tov saw that the common Jew felt disconnected from G-d. He created
the revolutionary movement of chassidus to spiritually engage the common Jew.
My rebbe, Rabbi Berel
Wein, notes that the Ba’al Shem Tov didn’t create anything that didn’t already
exist. Rather, he shifted the emphasis of key concepts.
Chassidus made the
common Jew feel he had a relationship with G-d and that his every action is
significant to G-d. Prayer was always a fundamental part of a Jew’s Avodas
Hashem. The Ba’al Shem Tov also gave tefillah an added primacy and emphasized
connection with the tzaddik who could raise the common Jew and help connect him
with G-d. As a result of being connected to G-d, chassidus emphasized joy and a
positive frame of mind.
By highlighting
certain components, even at the expense of other components, it created a
revolutionary approach that shook the Jewish world.
We cannot choose the
events of life or the people in our lives. But we can choose what we highlight
and focus on. Those highlights make all the difference in our perception and
attitude.
Shabbat
Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum