“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Terumah
3 Adar I 5782/February 4, 2022
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לרפואה שלימה נטע יצחק בן רחל
WET SOCKS
It’s
always a special zechus to travel to Eretz Yisroel. The last time I had been
there was five years ago, when I went with our oldest son, Shalom, in honor of
his bar mitzvah.
This
year, Shalom is learning in Merkaz HaTorah in Yerushalayim, so I had an added
incentive to visit. Although I booked my flight to visit Eretz Yisroel at the
end of January a few months ago, with constantly changing Covid regulations and
recent re-closing of the borders, I didn’t think the trip would end up
happening. But thankfully it did, and I savored every minute of it.
One of
the things I didn’t anticipate was encountering sheleg (snow) in Yerushalayim!
The night before I was scheduled to fly home, a rare snowstorm blanketed the
city with a few inches of snow.
Snow is
rare in the holy city, and when it does occur, children squeal with delight, as
I heard from the window of where I was staying as soon as the snow began. But
it also creates a very messy situation. As roads are plowed slowly in the
center of the street, melting snow immediately fills the cleared area, creating
a sloshy mess.
I didn’t
bring boots with me for my week-long trip. In addition, my sneakers are not
only not water-resistant, but they also seem to be water-attracting. Walking to
shul through the snow covered roads the morning after the storm, felt like
walking through the snow in sandals. It was quite an unpleasant and cold
experience.
Aside
from the unexpected snow, whenever it rains in Yerushalayim, the roads become
slick and slippery.
One of
the nights during my stay when it wasn’t raining Shalom was showing me the roof
of one of the yeshiva buildings in Yerushalayim. I wanted to get a better view
of the stunning Yerushalayim skyline and stepped onto what I thought was a step
to bolster myself up. It turns out that it was a concrete plant holder that was
full of water. Thankfully I didn’t fall too hard, but for the rest of the night
my socks and sneakers were completely drenched.
When we
left that yeshiva, we enjoyed a shawarma supper with some of Shalom’s friends.
Then we took the light rail to Yaffa gate, from where we walked to the Kosel.
With every step throughout the evening, I was reminded of that one misstep into
the empty plant pot. Throughout the evening I had to bear the discomfort of
soaked socks and sneakers.
No doubt
everyone has had the uncomfortable experience of having wet socks. When it
rains everyone is in the same boat (pun intended). But when you happen to have
stepped into a puddle on an otherwise dry day and are the only one walking around
with drenched socks, the silent discomfort is particularly unpleasant.
On
another occasion during my visit, I was eating lunch in a Jerusalem eatery. The
sign above the sink said נא לפתוח הברז בעדינות
- please open the faucet gently. When I tried to turn the faucet on however, it
didn’t work, so I pulled a little harder. The result was a rush of water all
over my shirt and pants.
When
you’re pants and shirt are wet everyone can see it and will probably ask what
happened and give you some sympathy. But when your socks are wet, no one has
any inkling of your discomfort.
We
encounter so many people in our daily lives - friends, neighbors,
acquaintances, business associates, gas station attendants, cashiers, and
everyone we pass on the street. We nod, smile, make small talk and sometimes
even have longer conversations or more regular interactions. Yet we may have no
idea of the other person’s metaphorical wet socks. We have no way of knowing
that despite their external smile every step may be uncomfortable and
challenging for them.
The
truth is that every one of us walks around with wet socks. Some of us deal with
it better but most of us hide it from everyone else.
Wet
socks can invite fungus and other issues if the wearer walks around with them
for prolonged period of time. The discomfort can lead to every step becoming
painful.
At the
end of the day, we have no idea about the journey’s others are on. We see them
take a few steps and assume we understand where they are coming from and where
they are going.
The
Mishna (Avos 2:5) states that one shouldn’t judge his friend until he “reaches
his place”. In our vernacular we say one shouldn’t judge someone until he’s
walked a mile in his shoes.
Sfas
Emes quips that the reality is that no one can ever truly walk in someone
else’s shoes. Even if I find myself in the exact same situation as another, I
have different life experiences, proclivities, particularities, traumas,
challenges and thought processes. Therefore, I can never truly understand what
it’s like for my friend. In other words, we can never truly pass judgement on
other people’s behaviors and decisions. The reality is that we can never know
what the experience is like to walk in someone else’s shoes.
Be
reassured that my week-long visit also had much sunny weather when my socks
were perfectly dry.
When I arrived
home on Friday morning, I was greeted with a Shabbos snowstorm in New York. Although
for this storm I had boots, I would be happy to have wet socks to walk through
snow in Yerushalayim than to have dry socks and boots during a snowstorm in New
York!
Shabbat
Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum