“RABBI’S MUSINGS (&
AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh
Parshas Matos-Masei
Pirkei Avos perek 2
Rosh Chodesh Menachem
Av 5776/ August 5, 2016
This week as Chani was getting ready to
leave for her scheduled doctor's appointment, our almost three year old son,
Dovid, said to her: "You no need to go Doctor, Mommy. I give you kiss and
make it all better!"
In Dovid's mind it makes perfect sense.
After all, whenever he gets a boo boo, Mommy or Abba give him a kiss and if
seems to make it better (if he gets a band aid too, even better).
Why does every parent offer their young
children a kiss as the ultimate panacea?
Every physical wound carries with it
some modicum of emotional pain as well. When we feel hurt we crave TLC. We want
to know that someone cares about our pain and that we are not alone with our
hurt.
A parent's loving kiss and embrace
provides that added dose of love. While it cannot take away the physical pain,
the feeling of being cared for and cherished makes the pain more bearable,
sometimes completely.
The greatest suffering of all is when it
is borne in silence. When one feels abandoned, as if his pain and travails
don't matter to anyone, that causes the deepest and most personal suffering.
Holocaust survivors have noted that one
of the myriad disturbing facets of the Holocaust was the fact that almost no
one outside the ghetto or the concentration camp walls seemed to care. The
utter poverty and rampant disease in the ghetto, the smoke rising from the
crematoria, as well as the horrible stench of burning human flesh in the camps,
was unmistakable. Yet no one bat an eyelash.
The pain of loneliness magnifies all
suffering exponentially.
Today the Jewish world has incredible
chesed organizations. Families suffering with a sick child r'l have many resources
and organizations ready to help. Their chesed is above and beyond. While they
cannot change the illness, they are able to help those suffering feel they are
not alone. That kiss of love is priceless.
On the other hand, I once heard from a
mother who has a teen son "at risk" lament that there are hardly any
resources to help her and her family cope with her familial tumultuous and
painful roller coaster. What's more, people judge her and her family, and
instead of compassion she ends up feeling blamed and somewhat ostracized, if
even unwittingly.
The same painful truth has been
expressed by divorcees.
The opening extant cry of Megillas
Eichah is that the bustling city of Yerushalayim has become like a widow.
Beyond the pain of destruction and calamity is the anguish of isolation. We can
provide that kiss of love which breathes life into those who crave it so much.
During these days of national mourning
when we contemplate redemption and focus on the pain and suffering of our
brothers and sisters in Klal Yisroel, it behooves us to try to give that
proverbial nonjudgmental kiss, to mitigate their suffering, if even just a
little.
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum