“RABBI’S MUSINGS (&
AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh
Parshas Devorim – Shabbos Chazon
8 Menachem Av 5776/ August
12, 2016
Earlier this week
someone forwarded me a touchingly beautiful and masterfully produced video,
entitled "Letting Go". Narrated by Rabbi Yoel Gold, it depicts the
incredible story of a man who forgave his childhood friend who was largely
responsible for the death of his family during the Holocaust. The friend had
stolen the visas he procured for his family at the onset of the Holocaust. The
family of the man who stole the visas survived while the man who originally had
the visas endured all of the horrors of the camp, and was the only member of
his family that survived. The video concludes with a poignant message that we
all seek to overlook wrongs done to us and forgive, and ultimately we are the
biggest beneficiaries of doing so.
By the next day I had
been emailed the video a few more times from different friends and family
members, and everyone I spoke to seemed to have seen it too. It has already
been posted on Aish.com and other major Jewish websites.
There has, in fact,
been a plethora of this genre of videos that have been produced and circulated
in recent years, most notably by Charlie Harary. They are highly professional
and inspirational videos which contain a story or poignant timely message, with
live interviews, and/or revolving pictures in the background. Each video
contains a beautiful message, driven home with tremendous eloquence and
professionalism.
That all led me to wonder
why, if we have so many masterful presentations which resonate so deeply and
create such a deep impression, do we seem to struggle so much with the very
issues these videos are targeting? If when watching the videos we all
relate and connect with their message, why do we have such a hard time
remembering the message in real time, when faced with challenging situations?
The simple answer is
that in real life when challenging events unfold, there is no soft music
playing in the background, and there is no pleasant calm voice narrating the
difficult event. When there is a confrontation with a neighbor, the guy who
sits behind you in shul, your boss, employee, or spouse, it arouses within you
feelings of anger, resentment, and hurt. At that moment, when one is
emotionally triggered, it is very hard to overlook perceived slights and
insensitivities, especially when one feels he has been mistreated.
It is in those lonely
painful moments, when overlooking a slight, insult, or even damage will afford
him no glory, that one must be able to draw chizuk from the reservoirs of his
soul, and remind himself of the incredible value, merit, and responsibility of
swallowing one's pride.
Tisha B'Av has an
inextricable connection with tears. It's a day dedicated to recalling our
collective national pain and anguish, expressed through tears. What is the
meaning behind the tears of Tisha B'Av?
We cry when our
emotions defy expression. When we become so overwhelmed with inner feelings
that overwhelm our very being, we shed tears. When we feel incredible grief and
when we feel transcendent joy, we are unable to hold back the tears. In that
sense tears make us feel very human, an expression of our vulnerability and
finiteness.
The world thinks tears
are wimpy and unmanly. But the Torah views properly and appropriately shed
tears as an expression of humility.
Tisha B'Av is not a day
of tears of despair, but rather tears of pain, longing, faith, and hope. The
tears of Tisha B'Av reinforce our humanity, and strengthen our humility, which
in turn reminds us that we have no recourse but to strengthen our faith in
Hashem. The humility engendered by our tears allows us to recount all of the
trauma and unspeakable atrocities we have endured throughout exile, and
remember that G-d is infinite and that there is meaning in all of our
suffering.
That humility also
helps us bend our pride before others, and learn how to forgive, even when
beautiful music isn't playing in the background. It's acts such as those which
will transform our tears from tears of pain to tears of absolute joy.
May it be this year!
Shabbat Shalom
& Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and
Chani Staum