“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Vayeshev
25 Kislev 5784/ December 8, 2023
Mevorchim Chodesh Teves
BE AND FEEL
A former colleague who is a wonderful educator would address his students
each day before the students began afternoon classes. For a while he would end
each day’s announcements by bidding the students that they “be matzliach
(successful) and make us proud”.
One day he announced to the students that upon further reflection he
decided to reword his daily signature closing. He explained that he felt it was
not correct to bless the students that they make us proud, for that should
not be a student’s true objective. A student’s goal in school is to do the best
he can and develop his skills and actualize his potential. True hatzlocho
isn’t based on the standards or expectations of others, but upon being true to oneself.
Although we likely would have tremendous nachas from their accomplishments that
should never be their primary motivation. The goal was for them to be matzliach
in their own way. From that point on he would simply wish the students that
they “be matzliach”.
I suggested to my colleague that the new closing was somewhat lacking as
well. There are many students, and adults, who are matzliach yet do not
recognize it. Despite the fact that everyone around them feels that they are
performing well, they feel deflated and discouraged.
The flip side is equally a problem. There are those who do not recognize
that they are not performing at their optimal level but feel they are doing
perfectly fine. Such students cheat themselves out of far greater
accomplishment.
Therefore, I suggested, the blessing be reworded that “you should be matzliach
and you should feel matzliach.”
This is especially true regarding Avodas Hashem.
Recently, while reciting Tehillim in Yeshiva after davening, I noticed
one of my students heading for the door. Later in the day, I asked that student
if he heard what recently happened in Gaza. I told him that an Israeli soldier in
combat was running towards an enemy position without any ammunition. When a
fellow soldier asked him where his gun was, he waved him off and said that his
few bullets weren’t going to make much of a difference anyway. The other
soldier screamed at him that he better get his gun quickly if he valued his
life.
The student looked at me quizzically. Why was I telling him such an
outlandish tale? I admitted to him that the story hadn’t happened in Gaza. But
in a sense, it happened that morning after shachris.
If I had chastised him for being callous toward the situation in Eretz
Yisroel, it would have been a harsh and false indictment. More accurately he has
the same misperception many of us have. We often don’t realize or believe in
the poignancy of our own prayers. If we realized that our tefillos and the merit
of our Torah learning and chessed truly protects our soldiers and makes a
difference in the ongoing outcome of the war, we would perform them with
greater concentration.
Yerushalmi (Chagigah 2:2) relates that the Greeks forced every Jew to write
on the horns of their oxen, “I have no portion in the G-d of Israel.” The Greeks
denied the idea that there is holiness and that a person can spread holiness.
That concept impinged on their epicurean philosophy.
The victory of Chanukah celebrates not only the eternity of Torah but
also our personal connection with the G-d of Israel.
As a rebbe and as a therapist, I can attest that there are many students
in our Yeshivos and Bais Yaakovs who excel in their learning and are viewed as
stellar students. Yet in their hearts they feel like failures, bitterly and
utterly disappointed with themselves.
It’s not enough to be successful, one must recognize and feel successful
as well.
Rav Nachman of Breslev (and others) note that when we light Chanukah
candles and for the first half hour afterwards, our homes are elevated and attain
the kedusha of the Beis Hamikdash and we have the kedusha of the Kohain Gadol.
It is not just on Chanukah when we light the Menorah that our Avodas
Hashem is precious. That is how we must view ourselves constantly. We should
not serve Hashem primarily out of feelings of guilt and inadequacy. True Avodas
Hashem is performed with simcha in knowing our value and how precious our
tefillah, Torah and avodah is to Hashem.
Shabbat Shalom
& Good Shabbos
Freilichen
& Lichtig Chanukah,
R’ Dani
and Chani Staum
