“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Yom Kippur
9 Tishrei 5781/September 15, 2021
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לרפואה שלימה נטע יצחק בן רחל
ANTIVIRUS WARE
The
other night I was driving with our eleven-year-old daughter Chayala, and she
began asking me questions about how different parts of the car works. I happen
to know a lot about cars from my years of driving them. I know that they have
four tires, an engine, a steering wheel, a battery that you can’t buy at the
checkout line at Shoprite, seats, and windshield wipers. But that’s about the
extent of my expertise with cars. Still, I explained to her that inside the
system of the car there is a built-in computer that regulates the technical
parts of the car. I added that when I had gotten into an accident a couple of
years ago, when a car rammed into the side of my car, aside from the structural
body damage that my car sustained, the mechanic also had to reset the computer
inside the car, which had malfunctioned as a result of the impact.
Being
that this conversation took place during the Aseres Yimei Teshuva, I thought
about the connection between my car analogy and the process of teshuva. Every
time we commit a sin, there are two mishaps that occur. There is the actual sin
which becomes embedded on our conscience. In addition, there is a negative
spiritual residue which blemishes our soul. In another sense, there is the sin
itself and then there is the fact that we committed an act in defiance of G-d’s
Will, which automatically makes the sin an act of unwitting rebellion.
Repentance
for the actual sin is like the body work to fix the car. That damage is most
easily recognizable because it immediately impedes the functioning of the car.
But there is also the not as noticeable problem which may not be immediately
apparent but will become clear after the driver turns on the motor. The inner
computer, the brain of the car, is also damaged which causes the car to not
function optimally. Even if the car is able to drive, it will be a frustrating
experience and potentially even dangerous.
Rabbi
Paysach Krohn relates a similar analogy about a young ba’al teshuva who bought a
new set of pots and pans and went to immerse them in a mikvah. Afterwards, he
was informed that the immersion could not be done until all stickers were
removed from the vessels. He removed all the stickers and went to immerse them
again.
Afterwards,
he noted that removing the stickers themselves was the easy part. The hard part
was scratching off the glue underneath the labels.
I can
well relate to this. Anytime my wife asks me to tovel something I ask her to
please take off the stickers and glue beforehand. I have spent much time trying
to scratch off the stubborn glue in the small mikvah area….
The
ba’al teshuva noted that he realized that every sin has an outer component and
an inner component - the label and the glue. The actual sin itself is the label,
the outer component. But beyond that is the glue, the inner component of the
sin, the impurity caused by the act which adheres to his soul and makes him
more prone to sin again.
The
Torah writes about Yom Kippur, (Vayikra 16:30) “Because on this day, you will
be forgiven so that you will be purified.” Yom Kippur is not only a day of
repentance, but also a day of reconnection. Through the arduous service of the day,
we not only rectify the body work and remove the negative labels from our
souls, but we also rectify our inner computers, by scratching away the sticky
residue of the sin. Forgiveness is for the actual sin itself, while
purification is from the negative spiritual effect the sin caused.
A
chassidishe friend once quipped that a computer can become infected with a
virus, just as we become infected by aveiros (it works better with a
chassidishe pronunciation, when it’s pronounced the same way - “a-virus”).
Last
year, I had the unenviable experience of my computer shutting down. Suddenly,
all I saw was a blank blue screen. No matter what I pushed, or how many times I
shut my computer, that awful blank blue screen persisted.
In a
panic, I went to an expert who was able to go into the bowels of the computer
and rectify the issue. When I came to pick it up, he showed me that the screen
with the familiar background picture of my family was back, as were all my files
and documents. Thankfully, my infected computer was able to have a refuah
sheleimah.
On Yom
Kippur, if we seek to purify ourselves, Hashem helps us get there. It’s not
only a day of forgiveness from past iniquities, but also a day of purification
and rectification, when we are afforded the opportunity to begin anew.
G’mar
Chasima Tova and Good Yom Tov,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum