“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Succos
14 Tishrei 5781/September 20, 2021
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לרפואה שלימה נטע יצחק בן רחל
BENEATH THE CAP
The
season of repentance is described as a great gift from G-d, one that offers us
renewal and redirection. So why do we dread it so much?
You’re
schmoozing with a friend at a simcha, laughing and reminiscing together.
Without thinking much about it, you haphazardly grab a bottle of soda from the
middle of the table and rapidly begin twisting it open. You failed to realize
that the waiter had just brought that bottle of soda to the table and had
dropped it along the way. In a moment there is soda spritzing all over the
table, your suit (dress/shaitel), and face. Aside for the big mess, it’s
embarrassing. It’s definitely a sticky situation to be in (sorry).
The
carbonated contents of the bottle had been under pressure. To avoid a bursting
explosion, it needed to have been opened slowly and methodically.
Most of
us have a lot going on beneath the surface of our lives and personalities. But
we feel that we have to maintain a superficial veneer that our lives are perfect,
and we have everything together. Despite the fact that everyone has their share
of struggles and challenges, we like to pretend everything is peachy and
perfect. After all, we are naively fooled that our neighbors indeed have
everything together, so how can we let anyone know that we don’t?
So, we
bottle everything up, causing tremendous pressure to build within ourselves.
For much of the time we are able to keep pushing everything beneath the surface
or the rug and go about our lives.
That is
part of the reason why many of us fear the process of teshuva. Why shake up the
bottle and create an explosion? Who wants to find out what’s under the bottle
cap?
The
problem is that in order to grow, one must be willing to confront all those
things he spends his life hiding from. He has to open the cap on the bottle and
allow the mounting pressure to escape. But he’s afraid that it may explode
beyond what he can handle. The problem is that, alas, there is no other way to
grow beyond one’s current state.
During
the sublime days of Tishrei, the custom is that we recite tashlich in front of
a flowing body of water, preferably water that has fish swimming in it. (Of
course, there are some readers who just looked up and said “Oy! I still have to
remember to say tashlich!” This is your reminder that you have until Hoshana Rabbah.)
When one
looks at a body of water it seems serene and level. But just beneath the
surface of the water is an entire world obscured from view.
One of
the reasons why tashlich is recited at a waterfront is to symbolize that, like
flowing water, G-d’s Kingship flows and continues eternally. Perhaps it’s also
to symbolize that just as there is a world beneath the surface of the water
obscured from the view of those on shore, so is the depth of G-d’s monarchy
beyond human comprehension. There are layers and layers of depth beyond what
our finite minds can grasp.
The
truth is that within ourselves as well there is much greatness that we fail to
tap into. It’s uncomfortable to pull off the cap that’s keeping the contents
under pressure. But when we do so, we discover wonderful content we never
realized was there.
The
question then becomes, once one has opened the proverbial bottle, and dealt
with the pressure and explosion it generated, what does he do next? Does he
immediately close it back up and put in the fridge, or does he then enjoy the
delicious contents?
Now that
we hopefully have engaged in that discomfort during the great days of teshuva,
pulling and pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zone, how do we maintain it?
Rabbi
Aaron Moss of Sydney, Australia, explains it this way:
“Having
just emerged from the security and nurture of the womb, a newborn baby is
particularly vulnerable and sensitive. So, moments after birth, it is immediately
swaddled to keep it protected and warm.
“But
swaddling doesn't last long. You rarely see teenagers wrapped up in a cloth
with their arms behind their ears (though perhaps some should be.) Swaddling is
a brief bridging stage between the safety of the womb and the hazards of real
life. A well wrapped baby will eventually grow to face life unwrapped. The
swaddle cloth just helps him get there.
“Your
soul needs that bridge too. You have emerged from the womb of Yom Kippur, a
pure and renewed soul. The negative residue from your past has been cleansed.
Your soul is now tender and sensitive, and easily susceptible to the coldness
of spiritual apathy and other moral germs floating in the air. You need some
protection. You need to be swaddled. You need a Sukkah.
“The Sukkah is
the only mitzvah that you do with your whole being. The holy air of
the Sukkah completely envelops and surrounds you. It turns everything
you do into a holy act. Eating and drinking and chatting in
the Sukkah is a mitzvah, just because it is done in the divine shade
of the Sukkah. When you sit in a Sukkah, you are being swaddled by
sanctity.
“Going
from the highs of Yom Kippur straight back into the routine of the mundane
world is like taking a newborn from her mother's womb straight out into the
cold night. You just can’t do that. Sit in the Sukkah. Bask in its sacred
shade. Be enwrapped in its warm embrace.”
I would
add that particularly after baring our soul, making ourselves vulnerable and
facing the parts of ourselves that we tried to hide, we need added reassurance
and encouragement. We need to feel that despite exposing the cold parts of
ourselves to the elements, we are still beloved in the eyes of the divine.
But the
truth is that it’s the opposite. It’s because we had the courage to turn
inwards and expose those painful parts of ourselves, to face our demons and
confront our shames in order to grow, that we are so beloved.
That’s
the beauty and joy of Succos. We are welcomed to sit in the shadow of the
divine and to celebrate the self-discovery we have gained. The cap is off. Now
it’s time to enjoy the wonderful contents you discover inside.
Freilichen
Yom Tov & Chag Sameiach,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum