“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Vayikra
6 Nissan 5781/March 19, 2021
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לרפואה שלימה נטע יצחק בן רחל
לז״ן אברהם יוסף בן
נפתלי הערץ
THAT GUY
My high
school students are helping to learn me English. To clarify, I’m actually
teaching them English, but they are trying to teach me how to communicate in
their world.
These
days the boyz use their own lingo. They tell me that I need to learn it so I don’t
get wreckt and be tripping, and so I can get woke. Legit, I don’t wanna spill
the tea, but the lingo is usually based on vibez or whatever they are down for.
When I don’t say it right they’ll bug out and ask me whachumean? Bro, I’m not
capping about this. I try to pull up but I’m not always full send about using
these strange terminologies.
The
other day I got a haircut and then went to the butcher to buy meat for Shabbos.
When the butcher asked me “fresh cut?” I smiled and said, “yeah dawg!” I don’t
want to flex but it was a phat chill. Whatever! I’m out!
One of
those phraseologies that has majorly caught on is “that guy”. These days
there’s nothing worse than being labeled “that guy” and everyone tries to
distance themself from “that guy”. People may note being in a quandary because
they want to do or not do something but are afraid of being classified as “that
guy” because of it. Similarly, someone may try to convince another not to do
something because “you just don’t want to be that guy!”
On the
other hand, of the biggest compliments one can receive is to be told, “you’re
the man!” Being “the man” connotes leadership, charisma and good will.
That led
me to wonder - what’s the difference between being “that guy” and being “the
man”? In Hebrew both can be referred to as ״איש״. So, what distinguishes the ultimate compliment from the
ultimate insult?
Perhaps
the difference is that being “that guy” sounds more passive and
therefore derogatory. “That guy” lives in his own bubble and doesn’t notice how
his behavior effects others. “The man” on the other hand, is more
direct and therefore complimentary. He leads by example and enhances the lives
of others.
In
Megillas Esther, it states that the party of Achashveirosh was designed לעשות
כרצון איש ואיש - to fulfill
the will of every man. The Gemara explains that the double expression refers to
Haman and Mordechai, both of whom were wine butlers at the party.
According
to contemporary lingo, Haman was “that guy”, while Mordechai was “the man”!
Haman was so narcissistic that when Achashveirosh asked him what he should do
for one to whom he wants to honor, Haman was absolutely convinced that
Achashveirosh was referring to himself. Mordechai, on the other hand, was
selfless in his focus on the welfare of his people. This was true despite the
fact that they violated his directive that they not attend the party.
The
Torah states about Noach after the flood, “And Noach, איש of the earth, profaned himself.” At that point, the righteous
Noach who had selflessly maintained the entire world during the flood, shifted
his focus and engaged in a selfish pursuit. In a sense, all at once, “the man
Noach” became “that guy Noach” with disastrous consequences.
In
parshas Yisro (Shemos 18:7), when Moshe went out to greet his father-in-law,
Yisro, the Torah states וישאלו איש לרעהו לשלום
- the man inquired about his friend’s welfare. Rashi notes that “the man”
refers to Moshe. This is based on the pasuk (Bamidbar 12:3) which states “and
the man Moshe was exceedingly humble.” Moshe was “the man” because he put the
needs of others before himself and he cared for his people with unparalleled
love and devotion.
The
ultimate personification of this idea is regarding the divine Himself. Each day
we repeat the words form the Shiras Hayam (song at the sea) ״ה׳
איש מלחמה״ - G-d is the איש of war (Shemos 15:3). Rashi explains that איש is an expression of mastery and dominion; G-d is the ultimate
arbiter and adjudicator of war. Rav Hirsch explains that G-d fights every force
of humanity that stands in the way of His Master Plan for a better future. G-d
concerns Himself with the needs of every being.
This
week (4 Nissan) marks the yahrtzeit of my Sabba, Abe Staum z”l. My Sabba was
the epitome of selflessness and warmth. He was a man of chesed, most of which
we will probably never know about. He was the co-owner of a toy company and
treated all of his employees with dignity and respect. In fact, his employees
admiringly hung up a picture of him in their work section. Whoever heard of
such a thing? They truly felt that their boss was “the man”. And that is how I
remember him as well!
In life,
we are all in the category of איש
(at least the men among us). The question is whether we live only for ourselves
and indulge in our own selfish desires, or we prioritize others and think how we
can enhance the lives of those we interact with.
Basically,
it’s the choice between being “that guy” or being “the man”.
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos
R’ Dani and Chani Staum