Thursday, January 10, 2013


Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Vaera, Erev Rosh Chodesh Shevat
29 Teves 5773/January 11, 2013

As we were preparing for our shul Chanukah Chagigah in our home a few weeks ago, I went into the garage to find a rather heavy table that we keep there. Despite the bulkiness and heaviness of the table I have carried it up and down the steps myself numerous times, and I was confident that this time would be no different. I’m not sure if it was the added fatigue of the holiday or the extra latkes weighing me down, but as I turned to head up the windy staircase from our basement the table headed in the opposite direction. It went right through the wall with a terrific thud.
Aside for my ego, I thankfully was not hurt. Now it appears that we are extra stringent in the law which requires that one have a ‘zecher l’churban’ in his home.
There are times in life when we feel like we can handle things. We tell others that we have the situation under control and they need not be concerned about us; we can handle the pressure and everyone should stop making a fuss. But then without warning we can find ourselves overwhelmed, as pressure brings us to our knees.
It is at those times that one really needs the support of his/her friends and family. It is those who will rush to your aid in your lowest and most vulnerable moments that are your real friends.
I once saw a beautiful quote about friendship: “A friend is someone who really knows you, and likes you anyway…” Oprah Winfrey once quipped that “anyone will ride with you in the limousine, but only a real friend will walk with you in the pouring rain.”
A real friend will help you lift the table after you’ve unwittingly dropped it. Then they’ll open the table and sit next to you.
We know Hashem doesn’t test challenge a person with any test he can’t handle. Sometimes the ability to handle a situation may include his social supports.
The ultimate marriage is when spouses achieve that level of dedication and devotion for each other. During sheva berachos we describe the choson and kallah as rayim ha’ahuvim – beloved friends. We pray that throughout their lives they will support each other so that neither ever feels alone, that they carry their table together so that they can sit beside it together.
Mazal Tov Joe and Danielle!

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos
Good Chodesh,
   R’ Dani and Chani Staum

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