Parshas Kedoshim 5784

 

“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”

 

Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Kedoshim

2 Iyar 5784/ May 10, 2024 – 17^th day of the Omer

Pirkei Avos – Perek 2

EVERY DROP

It’s a classic and beloved story. A forty-year-old shepherd viewed himself as a complete failure. Completely ignorant of Torah knowledge, Akiva didn’t even know how to read the aleph-beis and practically despaired of ever being able to learn Torah.

But then one day while walking, Akiva noticed a steady drip of water upon a rock. It was only a drip, but it was persistent and relentless. Akiva also observed that the steady drip had made a hole in the rock. He then concluded that if something as agile as water could carve a hole in solid rock with persistence and patience, if he had that same persistence and patience, the words of Torah – which are hard as iron – could eventually make an indelible impression upon his heart. He began to learn and eventually became the great Rabbi Akiva, one of our greatest leaders and key links in the transmission of Torah (Avos d’Rabbi Nosson 6:2).

I have often thought that in our society, if it was anyone other than Rabbi Akiva, such a story is highly unlikely to occur. Who has time or patience to pay attention to a drip on a rock? Who has time to ponder the wonders of nature at all? We are too busy ensuring our apps and social media posts are up to date to notice the world out there.

I realized recently, however, that all hope is not lost. Even though we may not recognize the impact of a drop of water from the mark it leaves on a rock, we can recognize the impact of a drop of water from our water bill. Surprisingly enough, a persistent and consistent leaky faucet can drive up a water bill. Who would think that a small drop could make such a difference? (ask me how I know!) That’s something most of us would indeed notice despite how busy we are.

 

Rabbi Avrohom Yachnes is one of the esteemed Rebbeim at Camp Dora Golding that I have the pleasure of spending my summers with. I always enjoy his insights and wisdom. A few summers ago, Rabbi Yachnes repeated an idea he heard from Rabbi Yosef Elefant. Rabbi Elefant related the aforementioned story with Rabbi Akiva and the rock, and then added the following observation:

Let’s assume we were somehow able to guesstimate exactly how much water fell on that exact spot of Rabbi Akiva’s rock over the years. If we were to then pour that amount of water on the rock at one time, would it cause a hole? Likely not. It wasn’t the magnitude of water that caused the hole, but rather it was the result of the process. Each individual drop didn’t appear to accomplish anything. But the reality was that it was creating an imperceptible impression all along.

Rabbi Akiva realized that if he too stayed the course and had patience for the process eventually Torah would penetrate within him as well.

Rabbi Yachnes then related that decades earlier he had a classmate who was a grandson of Rabbi Yaakov Kamenstsky. The grandson recounted one occasion when Reb Yaakov came to visit him in yeshiva. When the grandson began leading him towards the Yeshiva, Reb Yaakov asked him where they were going. The grandson replied that he assumed Reb Yaakov wanted to see the Beis Medrash. Reb Yaakov countered that he actually wanted to go to his grandson’s dorm room.

After Reb Yaakov assessed the room and was satisfied with its orderliness, he told his grandson he had a gift for him and handed him a package. The grandson opened it to find a small plant, not a typical gift given to yeshiva students.

Reb Yaakov told his grandson that he wanted them to both stare at the plant. After about 30 seconds, Reb Yaakov asked his grandson if he saw the plant grow. When the grandson replied that he didn’t see anything happen, Reb Yaakov suggested that they watch for a little longer. After a couple of minutes of monotonous watching, Reb Yaakov again asked his grandson if he saw the plant grow. When the grandson admitted that he didn’t, Reb Yaakov remarked that the reality is that it had grown even if they couldn’t see it.

Reb Yaakov then told his grandson that he wanted him to keep the plant on the windowsill above his bed. Reb Yaakov suggested that every night as he was getting into bed, his grandson should look at the plant and remember that it had grown that day even if it didn’t seem that way. Particularly on days when he didn’t feel he had been successful in his learning and was feeling down on himself, looking at the plant would remind him that there’s always growth occurring even when it may not be apparent.

The world celebrates completion and grandiosity. True greatness is borne from consistency and relentless effort that may never receive the adulation it deserves. The path to greatness also requires that one notice and appreciate every drop of growth.

 

 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,

R’ Dani and Chani Staum

stamtorah@gmail.com

 

Parshas Achrei Mos 5784

 

“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”

 

Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Achrei Mos – Mevorchim Chodesh Iyar   

25 Nissan 5784May 3, 2024 – 10^th day of the Omer

Pirkei Avos – Perek 1

JOY OF JOYOUSNESS

On the afternoon of the seventh day of Pesach I realized that in Eretz Yisroel Pesach was over and they were already eating chometz. Far from being envious however, I actually felt badly for them. I was more than happy to have one more day of Yom Tov, to say the Yom Tov Kiddush and enjoy two more meals with my family, and to recite the magnificent words of Hallel and the Yom Tov Shemoneh Esrei in its beloved tune. The pizza could wait another day. I would much rather be enveloped in the ethereal world of Yom Tov than to rush back into my mundane routine.

The Chasam Sofer (Oh’C 145, Derashos 2, p. 272) writes that when Moshiach comes two days of Yom Tov will be observed, not only in the Diaspora, but even in Eretz Yisroel itself, “to remind us that we were in exile, and G-d brought us out and redeemed us from all our woes.” 

In addition, the Chasam Sofer (Toras Moshe, Pinchos) writes that when a Jew merits to celebrate Yom Tov and observe its endemic mitzvos and halachos, he should celebrate the very fact that he was able to have that celebration. That is why those outside Eretz Yisroel celebrate a second day of Yom Tov. The very fact that we are able to celebrate the holiday outside Eretz Yisroel, and to feel the elevation and spiritual embrace of the holiday even outside our homeland, is cause for another day of Yom Tov.

Those in Eretz Yisroel also celebrate the fact that they merited to observe the holiday by calling the day after Yom Tov Isru Chag (“binding of the holiday”). But outside Eretz Yisroel that celebration is far greater.

Perhaps we can explain this idea of the Chasam Sofer with the following parable:

An Italian businessman had to be overseas for a few months. As the weeks wore on, he increasingly missed his family and his home. But no time was harder than the holidays. Among the other customs, his family had a certain family recipe from generations earlier for a special pasta. The recipe called for many ingredients that were plentiful in Italy, but not where he was. Back home the highlight of the holiday was when the family would gather together and eat the pasta dish.

The businessman had a wealthy friend who saw how sad he was and decided that he would ensure the Italian businessmen had his family dish for the holiday. It was quite challenging, and it took considerable effort and money to gather all the ingredients. He even had to have a special oven constructed so that it would taste just like it did back home. But in the end the wealthy man persevered and was able to have the beloved dish replicated.

On the day of the holiday the wealthy man surprised the Italian businessman by inviting him to enjoy the pasta meal.

Tears flowed from the Italian businessman’s eyes when he smelled and then tasted the nostalgia-evoking dish. “How happy you’ve made me. Though nothing can replace being home, I’m gratified that I am able to enjoy a taste and feeling of connection with home even though I’m so far away.”

In exile we are away from home. The fact that we are able to enjoy and bask in the spirit of Yom Tov despite our not having a Beis Hamikdash or being in Eretz Yisroel, is reason itself for added celebration.

 

Apiryon (Parshas Re’eh) writes that there is a vast difference between a physical celebration and a spiritual celebration. A person may enjoy a physical celebration, but it is a fleeting experience, over all too soon. A spiritual celebration, however, is not only enjoyed and experienced at the time of the event, but, afterwards, when one reflects upon the experience he is again happy to have had that elevating opportunity.

This is the meaning of Dovid Hamelech’s words in Tehillim (68:4), “and the righteous... will rejoice in their rejoicing.” The righteous rejoice when they reflect upon the spiritual rejoicing they experienced prior.

This is the joy and celebration of Isru Chag. It is the joy of knowing that we have just observed a holiday with its unique, endemic mitzvos and opportunities to serve and draw closer to Hashem on a higher level than one could throughout the year.

By now, the Pesach dishes have been put away for next year, and we have indeed had the customary post-Pesach pizza. But I hope somehow to maintain the spiritual gains of the holiday, even while somehow discarding the physical ones.

 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,

R’ Dani and Chani Staum

stamtorah@gmail.com

 

 

Parshas Metzora 5784

 

“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”

 

Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Metzora/Shabbos HaGadol  

11 Nissan 5784/ April 19, 2024

THE PROCESS

(With the exception of my brief introduction, the ideas in this essay were adapted from a lecture about the Haggadah by Rabbi David Lapin.)

 

My first position in chinuch was as the Social Worker in Yeshiva Bais HaChinuch. I spent almost a decade in that capacity and learned a great deal from my colleagues and, of course, the students. When I first began Rabbi Yaakov Oppen, a colleague and mentor, encouraged me to create and facilitate a social-emotional curriculum for the entire yeshiva.

In that regard, he often told me that aside for the purpose of imparting life skills to the students, it was important to generate conversation. Social-emotional learning isn’t adequately learned from lectures, but more from the give-and-take of discussion and dialogue. It was important to get the students involved and to hear their perspectives and thoughts. Even if less content was taught, the conversation itself was more valuable and impactful.

In a typical classroom, it can be challenging to have class conversations. Still, a seasoned and skilled rebbe/teacher will try to generate controlled conversation and student feedback as much as possible.

 

The night of the Seder is the night of chinuch. In their great wisdom and understanding of human psychology, Chazal structured the Seder incorporating ideal ways to teach, impart and convey lessons. One of the most important ideas endemic to the Seder is process. Growth and redemption don’t happen in an instant but requires tenacity and patience.

One of the laws of Sippur Yetzias Mitzrayim is that we must begin with the negative/degradation and conclude with the positive/praise (maschil b’gnus umisayem b’shvach). When relating what occurred we must first relate the tragedy and anguish so that we can then appreciate the salvation. In addition, the story must be conveyed in a question-answer format.

There is an important difference between discovery and spoon-fed entertainment. Most vacation attractions today advertise that the vacationer will need to invest minimal effort to enjoy the attractions they are offering. Passive enjoyment allows limited discovery. True discovery requires effort and willingness to explore into uncertainty and beyond what’s known and comfortable. Most people today aren’t willing to proceed into uncertainty and so are limited in what they can discover.

Our initiation into exile was anything but glorious. It was a long journey from the gloom of servitude to the glory of transformation. To appreciate the journey, we need to be willing to put ourselves into that mindset.

Questions also require willingness to forage into the unknown. One who questions honestly doesn’t know where his questions will lead him. On Seder night we mentally transport ourselves into an uncomfortable time an dplace so that we can achieve real discovery of who and why we are.

 

The halacha states that one must recline during the Seder.

The Medrash (Shemos Rabbah 20:18) notes that there is an enigmatic source for this law. After the exodus from Egypt, the Torah states, “Vayasev Elokim es Ha’am – “G-d turned the nation” (Shemos 13:18). He did not lead them through the closer land of Pelishtim, though it was closer. Instead, he led them along the far more circuitous route towards and through the desert.

The Medrash notes a link between the word, Vayasev – “He turned” and the word Vayesev – “He reclined”: “From here we see that even a poor man must recline when he eats at the Seder.”

What is the connection between their circuitous travels and our mitzvah to recline?

Many people do not observe the law of reclining at the Seder properly. Rashi describes it as “the way of free people on a bed at a table.” Reclining is how people eat when they are enjoying their meal in a highly relaxed manner.

When a person eats at a fast-food joint, his objective is to receive his food order as quickly as possible, then to eat and leave so that the next customer can take his place at the table.

When people eat on a cruise or at an upscale restaurant however, the meal takes on a life of its own. Those people remain at the table with nary a care in the world, enjoying the ambiance, company, and conversation.

The difference between the person eating at a fast-food restaurant and the person eating at an upscale restaurant is whether the focus is on the process or the outcome. If a person is going to eat because he’s hungry, he wants his hunger satiated as quickly as possible. He’s not interested in sitting down and having a waiter or waitress take his order while he converses. He’s outcome oriented, and wants to enjoy a good meal, and get back to his daily affairs as quickly as possible.

When eating is a process however, the patron wants to sit at a table with a comfortable chair in a pleasant environment and doesn’t want to feel rushed.

When one’s eating is solely for the outcome, such as eating a meal on a plane, he sits upright. However, when his eating is part of a process, such as when one eats on a cruise, his posture is more like reclining.

After they marched forth from Egypt, Hashem led Klal Yisroel on an elongated circuitous route, not only because the nation would panic at the sight of war and try to flee back into Egypt. It was also because the nation needed to undergo a process of growth that would require time and investment. Change is the result of process. Not only was the outcome/destination important, but so was the journey and the lessons learned along the way.

At the Seder our objective is not only to get to the meal; it’s not a fast-food ordeal. We recline at the Seder to demonstrate that the Seder is a night of transformation, where the process and journey is itself the goal. Reclining sets the tone for discussion, questions, debates, stories, and reflections. We don’t lean merely to remember that we once went free. We lean like free-men who have the ability and desire to ponder, debate and discuss.

 

This is also why we have a rabbinic obligation to drink four cups of wine at the Seder. Every cup of wine one drinks has a deepening effect upon him. Wine, like freedom, impacts a person in a progressional manner. When one enjoys a steak or a cup of soda, the result is that he isn’t hungry or thirsty anymore. But when one imbibes a few cups of wine, his very thinking and behavior become altered.

Like freedom, wine liberates those who are moral, but can destroy those who are immoral. Wine can be a blessing or a poison, it can elevate or denigrate, it can make a person feel elated or depressed, and it can liberate or enslave. As history demonstrates, those who are liberated without undergoing the process can be destroyed by their freedom.

 

Through the Seder we hope that drinking the four cups of wine will help us feel mentally and spiritually liberated.

At the Seder we don’t merely teach or recount. Our goal is to reexperience and to internalize the timeless lessons and values that have been passed down from time immemorial, from father to son, Seder table to Seder table.  

 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos HaGadol

Chag Kasher V’sameiach & Freilichen Yom Tov,

R’ Dani and Chani Staum

stamtorah@gmail.com 

 

 

Parshas Tazria 5784

 

“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”

 

Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Tazria

4 Nissan 5784/ April 12, 2024

 

This week’s Musings is lovingly dedicated in memory of my Sabbah, Mr. Abe Staum, R’ Avrohom Yosef ben R’ Naftali Herz haLevi z”l, upon his yahrtzeit tonight, 4 Nissan.

WHAT WAS WON’T BE

There have been some strange and unusual events the last few weeks.

The Francis Scott Key Bridge was opened in March 1977 to carry the Baltimore Beltway (I-695) across the Patapsco River. The bridge bears an estimated 11.5 million vehicles annually.

On March 26, 2024, a cargo vessel leaving the Port of Baltimore had a complete power blackout and collided with one of the main spans of the bridge causing the bridge to collapse into the river below.

A little over a week later, an earthquake rattled the tristate area. There’s a lot of dangers and challenges that we expect living in the tristate area; earthquakes are not one of them. The question everyone was asking afterwards was, “Where were you during the earthquake?” and “Did you feel it?”

Many said that although they felt rumblings or saw walls shaking, they didn’t dream that it was actually an earthquake.

Four days later, there was a solar eclipse. A solar eclipse occurs when the Moon passes directly between the Earth and the Sun, obscuring the view of the Sun, partially or completely. Although there should be a solar eclipse every month, because the Moon does not have a perfectly circular orbit, it is unusual. The next solar eclipse will be on August 23, 2044.

Is there any commonality between a bridge collapsing, an earthquake, and a solar eclipse?

We like when things are predictable. When the unexpected occurs, we feel blind-sighted and unprepared to deal with the consequences.

In June 1927, the night before a solar eclipse, the elderly Chofetz Chaim told the crowd that had gathered for maariv, “Hashem has implanted in his creation the phenomenon of a solar eclipse, as a means of refuting those misguided souls, who believe in other immortal powers. The time comes when the sun is eclipsed, so that we all know and internalize - the sun is a creation and not a creator!

“It’s a mitzvah for us all to come and see with our own eyes… it’s only a mortal chunk of creation.”

Every day the sun rises and the sun sets. What was yesterday will be again tomorrow…. until it isn’t. The solar eclipse is a reminder that there is a power above nature, and everything is subject to change on a whim.

Bridges are a testament to human accomplishment. Raging rivers flow through cities, cutting off byways and highways. Human ingenuity and engineering produce mighty bridges that stand majestically atop the river, allowing traffic to continue unimpeded atop the flowing waters. But when a bridge collapses in moments, it reminds us that human accomplishment has its limits.

It hardly needs to be said that an earthquake is the ultimate reminder of human vulnerability and helplessness. The solid bedrock we build our lives upon and trust for stability, are mere plates in the Hands of our Creator.

The events of the past weeks remind us that what was is not necessarily what will be.

On September 11, 2001, at 8 am, no one could have dreamed that by noon the twin towers would be reduced to a pile of smoking rubble.

In March 2020, no one could have dreamed that virtually overnight the world would be subsumed by a pandemic that would disrupt all civilization and claim over a million lives.

On Hoshana Rabbah 2023 no one could have imagined that the following day a nightmare would ensue for the Jewish people that we still don’t know how it will end.

 

On the night of the Seder, there is a custom to eat round matzos. Round matzah symbolizes the natural order of the world, in that it follows a predictable repetitive pattern. At the Seder, before beginning to relate the details of Yetzias Mitzrayim, we perform Yachatz breaking the middle matzah. Doing so reminds us that at the time of redemption Hashem overrode His own rules of nature and performed numerous miracles to redeem His people. It also reminds us, that as effortlessly as we break the matzah, so can and does Hashem override nature as He sees fit.

Recounting the events of the exodus reminds us that just because it’s been a certain way for so long doesn’t mean it will remain that way.

The pasuk (Iyov 28:3) states, “He made an end to darkness, and He fathoms every end…”

Pesach not only celebrates liberation of long ago, but also reminds us that no matter how unlikely it seems, the future can always be better. The mighty Pharaohs of yesterday will be destroyed by the rising sun of redemption.

 

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,

R’ Dani and Chani Staum

stamtorah@gmail.com