“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Naso (EY – Beha’aloscha)
13 Sivan 5780/June 5, 2020
Avos perek 1
CONTAGIOUS!
Our
family custom is to have a dairy meal during the nights of Shavuos. My wife
prepares every one of my favorite dairy delicacies for those meals. Each one of
those dishes could easily be a main course for dinner on any given night.
The
entree featured homemade cheese blintzes, followed by onion soup with cheese,
which was followed by a main course of mushroom and cheese quiche, fried
mozzarella sticks, and fettuccine alfredo. That doesn’t include the delicious home
baked challah at the beginning of the meal. (I, and our children, do not like
fish!)
By the
time the seudah was over, my stomach was really mad at me. I am not usually
lactose intolerant, but after eating so many delicious cheese dishes, my
stomach had reached its limit. I couldn’t even eat a piece of the delicious
(and very sinful) cheesecake that my wife had made. (Not to worry- I made up
for it since then.)
After
the seudah, when I sat down to learn with our oldest son Shalom at our kitchen
table, fatigue hit me hard. Not only was I exhausted to begin with, but the
heavy meal I had just enjoyed was weighing me down in more ways than one. As
the minutes ticked away, I was starting to go cross-eyed as I kept rereading
the same words of the Gemara. As I repeated the words of Bais Shammai and Bais
Hillel, I realized that the words weren’t registering.
I told
Shalom that I needed to put my head down for a few minutes. A few minutes
later, I told him I needed to take a nap on the couch.
For the
next while (I’ll leave it at that) I dozed fitfully on the couch. I kept waking
up to hear Shalom learning Gemara loudly and with gusto.
In my
fatigued mind I was amazed. His chavrusa was out of commission on the couch,
everyone else in the family was fast asleep, and yet he was learning with
enthusiasm. I kept thinking to myself that I really wanted to get up and join
him, but my body didn’t listen.
At some
unearthly hour, Shalom saw my eyes open and told me he was getting ready to
leave to learn with a chavrusa. I told him I was getting up to learn with him.
At that point, I pulled myself up, made myself a coffee, and dragged myself
over to the table and reopened my gemara.
I must
admit that those first few minutes were really challenging. But I was able to
push through and after a few minutes was fully into it. We learned together for
some time, before Shalom left to learn with his chavrusa. By then, I was
sufficiently awake to remain learning myself for the rest of the night.
Thankfully, I was able to meet the goal I had set for myself at the beginning
of the night.
It was
and is a real nachas to have been inspired by my son that night. I am pretty
confident that I wouldn’t have made it off the couch otherwise.
Every
morning, prior to reciting Shema, we daven that Hashem help us “lilmod
ulilamed - to learn and to teach... all the words of Your Torah with love.”
Why does every Jew recite those words? Shouldn’t it be reserved for teachers
and rabbis?
Rabbi
Moshe Feinstein explained that indeed every person is a teacher. Like it or
not, we influence others by our behaviors and words. Others see how we conduct
ourselves and are influenced, if even slightly, for good or for better. A
friend recently related that he is particular to place his cell phone in his
tallis bag before davening each morning. He noted that he had seen a friend
doing that and it inspired him to do the same.
Sometime
later, when he told his friend what he had learned from him, his friend laughed
and replied that he had only done it that morning because his phone felt bulky
and was bothering him.
We all
teach others by our conduct, whether we realize it or not. If a person is
careful to recite a beracha carefully, to daven meticulously, to be careful not
to talk during davening, not to speak loshon hora, to perform acts of chesed,
etc. he can never know the ramifications of his actions.
Therefore,
we all must ask Hashem to help us “teach others” in a positive way, that draws
them closer to Torah and Avodas Hashem.
My
father-in-law taught me years ago that there is another way to become a rabbi
and a teacher. During the early years of our marriage, when my wife and I were
visiting, I noticed the mail on the table and saw that a few envelopes were
addressed to Rabbi Nathan Mermelstein. My father-in-law is a most wonderful
person, but he is not (yet) a rabbi. When I asked him about the envelopes he
replied, “When they need money, everyone is a rabbi.”
Rabbi
Moshe Feinstein taught us that even beyond worthy charity collectors, and even
when we are not the principals of our homeschools during a pandemic, we are all
teachers. We may never know who our disciples are. Perhaps even our parents and
teachers.
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos
R’ Dani and Chani Staum