“RABBI’S MUSINGS (&
AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas
Bo
3 Shevat 5778/January 19,
2018
As I was leaving shul one morning recently, a fellow asked if
he could speak to me for a moment. He began my asking me if I am an FFB or a
BT? For those unfamiliar with the lingo - FFB means “Frum From Birth” while BT
means a Ba’al Teshuva.
I have never been asked that question before. It reminded me
of an anecdote I read: A young man once came to the Gerrer Rebbe, the Bais
Yisroel, to receive the Rebbe’s blessing. When the rebbe asked him where he was
learning, he replied that he was learning in Ohr Samaich (a famous Yeshiva for ba’alei
teshuva). Then he quickly added, “but I’m not a ba’al teshuva!” The rebbe
looked at him and replied, “why not?!”
We refer to those who were brought up irreligious and have
made the incredible decision to revolutionize their lives, as ba’alei teshuva.
It’s a title we seem to reserve for those who have given up
the lifestyle they were raised with, to adapt a life of Torah and commitment to
Hashem.
But the truth is that it’s our mandate and responsibility to
all become ba’alei teshuva. We all are charged with constantly seeking to
improve ourselves and to work on our negative character traits.
After a moment’s thought, I replied to him that I would like
to think that I am both. I was b’h privileged to have been raised in a
spiritually nurturing environment where Torah, mitzvos, and Halacha observance
were the priority. In that sense, I am indeed an FFB. Yet, I would like to
think that I am also a Ba’al Teshuva, in the sense that I try to be honest with
myself and confront some of my (ed. - many) deficiencies and character flaws,
and work to improve them. Perhaps, those close to me will argue that I’m not
yet a “BT”, but I hope and aspire to be one day.
Truthfully, even according to the prevalent definition of a
BT, as someone irreligious who has adapted a religious life, we have a lot to
learn from them.
Rabbi Uri Zohar was an iconic Israeli television personality
with all the endemic glitz and glamour. After years in show biz, he left that
way of life completely, and has become a known talmid chochom and inspiration
for many.
He once quipped that if someone offered him a million dollars
to not put on tefillin for just one day, it would not even be a challenge for
him. He wouldn’t even have an internal struggle to overcome. He had lived in
“that world” and knew firsthand that what appeared to be so appealing, was
empty and completely unfulfilling. All the money in the world can’t provide the
meaning and feeling of connection that one can have from donning tefillin on
any given morning.
So many of the incredible ba’alei teshuva I have met, share
similar sentiments and experiences. When I marvel at how much they gave up
becoming religious, they say that if I knew how they felt before they became
religious, I wouldn’t be so impressed. They say things like it was all fun and
exciting, until it all seems to come crashing down, and you feel like your life
is meaningless and is not going anywhere...”
So they jump into a life of commitment to Torah and can’t get
enough of it. It’s so fulfilling and purposeful!
The tragedy is that many of us who are FFBs, fail to see what
these incredible BTs have discovered. We fail to recognize the passionate and emotional
connection that our way of life affords is. We were privileged to have been
brought up with and it’s what all of our neighbors and friends do too.
Tragically, our observance is the same way it was when we were children and we
never seek to deepen it.
If only we could harness the energy and perspective of those
BTs and view Torah from their perspective. The truth is that we can. But we
have to stop being observant out of habit and rote.
There are so many inspirational personalities and speakers in
our communities who are BTs. It seems obvious why that is. We need to look at
the gift of our heritage, laws, and traditions with a fresh perspective. True,
it’s something we must keep. But our goal is that it becomes something we want
to keep, and that comes from recognizing its beauty and depth!
The questioner in shul that morning may have thought he was
asking me a simple question - whether I was a FFB or a BT, but it definitely
got me thinking. I hope one day to truly be a BT, in more ways than one.
After he asked me about myself, he continued that he himself
is a BT, and has a question.
I hope to share his question and my response, next week.
I hope to share his question and my response, next week.
Shabbat
Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum