“RABBI’S MUSINGS (&
AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh
Parshas Pekudei
Rosh Chodesh Adar II
1 Adar II 5776/ March 11,
2016
There’s no doubt that I am the most
important person in the world these days. You need to know about me. So really
I’m telling you about myself for your own good! So pay attention well!
I started off from very humble
beginnings, but I was determined to make something of myself, and I wasn’t
going to allow anyone or anything to stop me. I built my way to the top with a
dream of conquering the world. Believe it or not I continue to be successful.
Everyone knows my name and everyone pays homage to me. It doesn’t matter what
country or what part of the world. They all know me.
The truth is I don’t have many
leadership qualities. If you’re even partially astute you will realize that
from my political past and by the empty nonsense I preach. Oh, I know about
money and I have more of it than you could even imagine. In fact, it would take
days on end for me to even describe how much I have, and I love to show it off.
But when it comes to maters of domestic and foreign affairs I am pretty lost
without my close circle of advisers.
So how did I make a name for myself? I
had two primary tactics: The first thing I did was to marry a beautiful foreigner.
I married for looks because I am a pretty shallow person, and I know it looks
good for me to be seen in public with someone pretty.
The second thing I did was that I never
allowed or allow anyone or anything to get in my way. In fact, I am known to be
ruthless, crass, and vulgar. Dare to cross my path and you will feel the brunt
of my anger, and it’s lethal. I will hold nothing back from my foes or from
anyone who even has a hope of vying for my power and prestige.
You wouldn’t think those two tactics
would be enough for me to bulldoze my way to the top, but it worked for me. I
guess my followers are pretty shallow too.
I am never bashful and I am not scared
to do radical things if I feel it is for the betterment of my charges. In fact,
I would not hesitate to rid myself of an entire nationality. It may sound
radical and you may doubt me, but I’ll give it my full backing. Whatever it
takes! Who needs ‘em anyway; they are nothing but trouble and you can’t trust
them. Besides, that’s what everyone wants to hear.
There’s another fascinating point about
me that you should know. Believe it or not, although I look like your run of
the mill gentile, I have a Jewish child - orthodox too. When the child was
young no one would have ever guessed it, but the truth is stranger than
fiction. And this child is my pride and joy, perhaps my successor one day.
In closing I would just reiterate that
as long as you are on board with me then life will be blissful, in fact it will
be a constant party. With me on top there are no worries. And you can be sure I
will trump over all those who even try to stand in my way. If I can’t do
it with sheer force, a ‘diamondo and rubio’ will always help me cruz
to victory.
No doubt you know who I am, particularly
now. From India to Ethiopia
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum
[1] When Vashti ranked out Achashveirosh after he
summoned her to appear at the feast, she ranked him out, referring to the fact
that he was originally a stable boy, and that he wasn’t half the man that her
grandfather Nebuchadnezzar was (Megillah 12b). Vashti was a Babylonian, while
Achashveirosh was Persian, which meant that she was a foreigner. Rav Yonason
Eibschutz explains that Darius, Achashveirosh’s son and successor, was the son
of Esther, and, therefore, was a full-fledged Jew.