Thursday, May 3, 2012



Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshios Acharei Mos-KedoshimPirkei Avos – perek 3
12 Iyar 5772/May 4, 2012 (27th day of the Omer)

You know what they say about a yeshivish car? The only thing that still works is the horn.
A friend of mine had one such car which ran on gas and prayer. One winter day as he was puttering along, he suddenly heard an explosion erupt from the back of his car. Although it was a bit unnerving, he bravely forged on.
But a few moments later when he heard a second such explosion, and then a third, he began to panic. He turned around and headed straight for his second home (a.k.a. his mechanic). Along the way a few more explosions rattled his nerves.  
The mechanic popped the hood, and then checked the tires and brakes, but he couldn’t find anything remarkably unusual. Still, the frenzied driver insisted that the mechanic check again. He was sure something was amiss, and he refused to drive the car until he was reassured that it wouldn’t explode in the middle of the street.
Finally the mechanic decided to search the trunk. It was there that he found the source of the disturbance. Underneath all of the trunk-junk he found a forgotten 12 pack of soda. He immediately realized what was happening in the winter cold the cans were freezing and subsequently exploding.
We all have issues and challenges that we don’t like to confront. We try to push them out of our minds, hoping that if we can cover them up they will go away. But, as one of my teachers once quipped, “the only way out is through”. If we try to drive away from our challenges, they will remain in the trunk under pressure like a tinder box. When the pressure becomes too intense, eventually the can will explode! At that point we will have no recourse but to open the trunk and figure out the real source of the problem.
This idea is true in regards to marriage, parenting, and personal growth. In order to improve in any area we need to understand the root of a problem. Otherwise we may address a symptom while ignoring the core issue: Why do I act the way I do? Why do I argue and become so hurt by seemingly innocuous disagreements? Why does my child not want to discuss things with me? 
Trunks are an invaluable asset to a car. Not everything needs to be on the car’s seats where everyone can see it. But explosive materials cannot just be thrown in the trunk. They need to be handled with care.

              Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
                R’ Dani and Chani Staum