“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Metzora/Shabbos HaGadol
11 Nissan 5784/ April 19, 2024
THE PROCESS
(With
the exception of my brief introduction, the ideas in this essay were adapted
from a lecture about the Haggadah by Rabbi David Lapin.)
My first position in chinuch was as the Social Worker
in Yeshiva Bais HaChinuch. I spent almost a decade in that capacity and learned
a great deal from my colleagues and, of course, the students. When I first
began Rabbi Yaakov Oppen, a colleague and mentor, encouraged me to create and
facilitate a social-emotional curriculum for the entire yeshiva.
In that regard, he often told me that aside for the
purpose of imparting life skills to the students, it was important to generate
conversation. Social-emotional learning isn’t adequately learned from lectures,
but more from the give-and-take of discussion and dialogue. It was important to
get the students involved and to hear their perspectives and thoughts. Even if
less content was taught, the conversation itself was more valuable and
impactful.
In a typical classroom, it can be challenging to have
class conversations. Still, a seasoned and skilled rebbe/teacher will try to
generate controlled conversation and student feedback as much as possible.
The night of the Seder is the night of chinuch. In
their great wisdom and understanding of human psychology, Chazal structured the
Seder incorporating ideal ways to teach, impart and convey lessons. One of the most
important ideas endemic to the Seder is process. Growth and redemption don’t
happen in an instant but requires tenacity and patience.
One of the laws of Sippur Yetzias Mitzrayim is that we
must begin with the negative/degradation and conclude with the positive/praise
(maschil b’gnus umisayem b’shvach). When relating what occurred we must
first relate the tragedy and anguish so that we can then appreciate the
salvation. In addition, the story must be conveyed in a question-answer format.
There is an important difference between discovery and
spoon-fed entertainment. Most vacation attractions today advertise that the
vacationer will need to invest minimal effort to enjoy the attractions they are
offering. Passive enjoyment allows limited discovery. True discovery requires
effort and willingness to explore into uncertainty and beyond what’s known and
comfortable. Most people today aren’t willing to proceed into uncertainty and
so are limited in what they can discover.
Our initiation into exile was anything but glorious. It
was a long journey from the gloom of servitude to the glory of transformation. To
appreciate the journey, we need to be willing to put ourselves into that
mindset.
Questions also require willingness to forage into the
unknown. One who questions honestly doesn’t know where his questions will lead
him. On Seder night we mentally transport ourselves into an uncomfortable time
an dplace so that we can achieve real discovery of who and why we are.
The
halacha states that one must recline during the Seder.
The
Medrash (Shemos Rabbah 20:18) notes that there is an enigmatic source for this
law. After the exodus from Egypt, the Torah states, “Vayasev Elokim es Ha’am – “G-d turned the nation” (Shemos 13:18).
He did not lead them through the closer land of Pelishtim, though it was
closer. Instead, he led them along the far more circuitous route towards and
through the desert.
The
Medrash notes a link between the word, Vayasev
– “He turned” and the
word Vayesev – “He reclined”: “From here we see that
even a poor man must recline when he eats at the Seder.”
What is
the connection between their circuitous travels and our mitzvah to recline?
Many
people do not observe the law of reclining at the Seder properly. Rashi
describes it as “the way of free people on a bed at a table.” Reclining is how
people eat when they are enjoying their meal in a highly relaxed manner.
When a
person eats at a fast-food joint, his objective is to receive his food order as
quickly as possible, then to eat and leave so that the next customer can take
his place at the table.
When
people eat on a cruise or at an upscale restaurant however, the meal takes on a
life of its own. Those people remain at the table with nary a care in the
world, enjoying the ambiance, company, and conversation.
The
difference between the person eating at a fast-food restaurant and the person
eating at an upscale restaurant is whether the focus is on the process or the
outcome. If a person is going to eat because he’s hungry, he wants his hunger
satiated as quickly as possible. He’s not interested in sitting down and having
a waiter or waitress take his order while he converses. He’s outcome oriented,
and wants to enjoy a good meal, and get back to his daily affairs as quickly as
possible.
When eating
is a process however, the patron wants to sit at a table with a comfortable
chair in a pleasant environment and doesn’t want to feel rushed.
When
one’s eating is solely for the outcome, such as eating a meal on a plane, he
sits upright. However, when his eating is part of a process, such as when one
eats on a cruise, his posture is more like reclining.
After
they marched forth from Egypt, Hashem led Klal Yisroel on an elongated
circuitous route, not only because the nation would panic at the sight of war
and try to flee back into Egypt. It was also because the nation needed to
undergo a process of growth that would require time and investment. Change is
the result of process. Not only was the outcome/destination important, but so
was the journey and the lessons learned along the way.
At the
Seder our objective is not only to get to the meal; it’s not a fast-food ordeal.
We recline at the Seder to demonstrate that the Seder is a night of
transformation, where the process and journey is itself the goal. Reclining
sets the tone for discussion, questions, debates, stories, and reflections. We
don’t lean merely to remember that we once went free. We lean like free-men who
have the ability and desire to ponder, debate and discuss.
This is
also why we have a rabbinic obligation to drink four cups of wine at the Seder.
Every cup of wine one drinks has a deepening effect upon him. Wine, like
freedom, impacts a person in a progressional manner. When one enjoys a steak or
a cup of soda, the result is that he isn’t hungry or thirsty anymore. But when
one imbibes a few cups of wine, his very thinking and behavior become altered.
Like
freedom, wine liberates those who are moral, but can destroy those who are immoral.
Wine can be a blessing or a poison, it can elevate or denigrate, it can make a
person feel elated or depressed, and it can liberate or enslave. As history
demonstrates, those who are liberated without undergoing the process can be
destroyed by their freedom.
Through
the Seder we hope that drinking the four cups of wine will help us feel
mentally and spiritually liberated.
At the
Seder we don’t merely teach or recount. Our goal is to reexperience and to
internalize the timeless lessons and values that have been passed down from
time immemorial, from father to son, Seder table to Seder table.
Shabbat Shalom
& Good Shabbos HaGadol
Chag Kasher
V’sameiach & Freilichen Yom Tov,
R’ Dani and
Chani Staum
stamtorah@gmail.com
